Warriors launch Roller Coaster Of Emotions, scale back Rugby League

NEWSDESK: Warriors fans can now experience the highs and crushing, crushing lows of League  on the Bunco Piping Solutions Roller Coaster Of Emotions, officially launched at Sunday’s match.

Fans arrived at the stadium to be greeted by drummers, booming music and cheerleaders, before being loaded onto Warriors Wagons and taking a ride into the sporting future. “This ride’s a grassroots amusement park entertainment package that’ll blow New Zealand away” said Marketing Manager Dan ‘3G’ Mann. “Bring the whole family – show your Warriors support by going around and around and around!” The $63.00 ride features:

  • interviews and make up tips with Ropo and Stephen McIvor in the queue
  • a dizzying switchback from Jaws Of Victory to Jaws Of Defeat
  • a trip past a towering Steve Price head replica that chants ‘Pricey’ with moving mechanical jaw and eyes that light up
  • a mind-numbing winter losing streak simulator with driving hail, frostbitten fingers and 125  db Costo voice over
  • ‘The Comeback’, a caged Warriors’ great making an emotional return to Mount Smart. Player refreshes each fortnight
  • Mad Butcher / Meat Cleaver chamber of horrors Halloween special
  • waving big flags

Mann explained:  “We’re competing for people’s entertainment dollars, and the roller coaster means a consistent match day experience like never before. In fairness, we can see it eliminating the need for the Rugby League arm of our business altogether.”

Overseas clubs have already been in touch to swap notes with the Auckland franchise. The Gold Coast Titans have opened talks to play their home games at MovieWorld, and Manchester United are developing the ‘Alex Fergusson Red Face of Rage Roller Ride” behind their Old Trafford base.

Author: Richard Irvine

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