Pop quiz time – are the following quotes from:
A: A work of Young Adult fiction set in a post-apocalyptic world, or
B: Ex-Wallaby skipper and TV colour commentator Phil Kearns’ call from the New South Wales Warratahs v Otago Highlanders Super Rugby Semi Final?
“Am I the only one who sees the truth, the way that is right? All around me is dark. All around me is pain.”
“The Ruler may be all seeing and all powerful, but he’s been badly let down by the fourth official there. Absolute Barry Crocker.”
“I do my best to conform, to speak the words they will have me say but it overwhelms me. Turn it up!”
“I stole a sausage. It’s hidden where They’ll never find.”
“The young run, run on fields of green, not knowing of how The Ruler owns their destiny. But I see all. From the comms box and the on the instant replay.”
“The Laws serve only the Ruler. Poor from him, boys will be gutted.”
“My voice is measured to avoid detection, but inside I scream. Only when I am safely inside the commentator’s bogs can I truly scream what must be heard.”
“Joubert, you’ve had a fucking nightmare.”
Answers: all Bs.