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L&P – doing it wrong

I got a press release from L&P’s PR agency today on their upcoming BYC cricket tournament. PR’s easy, it works like this:

  1. Get list of ‘sport blogger’ email addresses. For god’s sake don’t bother reading their site to see if they a) do this kind of thing thing or b) hate you
  2. Send out a mass emailed press release
  3. Bloggers do your job for you and send that shit ‘viral’ on the ‘internet’

Unfortunately, sportreview.net.nz’s policy is that L&P needs to eat a bag of dicks for the way they treated top blokes The Beige Brigade last year. Here’s an excerpt from the email the Ad Agency sent The Brigade when they tried to get behind last year’s tournament:

“We kinda see the Beige Brigade as high profile funny guys where as L&P is always the backseat funny guy, finding humour in little kiwi truths and not really making a fuss. We…don’t feel the fit is quite right for L&P, strategically.”

‘Kinda’. That’s awesome. This is how it’s going to go on my site:

  1. Blogger receives mass emailed press release from L&P (disclosure: blogger already thinks L&P should eat bag of dicks)
  2. Blogger responds with snarky mcsnark snark blog post

L&P has been going to the tired 70s / 80s Kiwiana well for a while now. They used to be good, but the current ads make drinking L&P seem as appealing as feeding my nuts through the electronic whiteboard. Dressing no-marks in headbands and trackies would have a lot more impact if every other hipster on K Road wasn’t dressed like that these days. The campaign’s posters stars aren’t Kiwi lads who love a game of cricket and an L&P to cool off while effortlessly embodying the brand values of being quirky, down to earth, lovable, and a dufus. They’re dicks. Exhibits A through C:

I was going out of my way to get annoyed now. The campaign’s shitty flash-based website is a content-lite shambles, a Trojan horse for lengthy terms and conditions that crashes Firefox, and leaves no Kiwiana stone unturned to flog you sugary water:

Gag me with a jandal – they’re raping buzzy bees here. For crimes against Cricket and New Zealand generally, sportreview.net.nz says no to L&P’s ad campaign, and no to unsolicited press releases. I like to drink L&P with fish and chips as much as the next man, and the BYC tournament itself is a great idea – I’m sure those that play will have a great time – but the patronising and annoying ad campaign, website and PR has to go, team.

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4 Comments

  1. Hang on, what?
    Only memories I have of BYC are the mad dash to play at silly mid-on/silly mid-off because you didn’t have to run over all the prickles like in the outfield.
    We certainly didn’t have barbies and L&P in the Manawatu. More like old dog sausage squashing between your toes and grazes from sliding along gravel driveways to make a catch. If you got a drink at all it was a glass of Raro, but one of those ones where the mum of the kid had put one sachet with 2l of water to try and make it more economical.

  2. Richard Irvine

    February 12, 2009 — 5:34 pm

    Robyn – yeah you could be right, those guys were gutted their hilarious ‘rhohypnol’ campaign got knocked back, eh.

    LB, you’re right, it did come though twice! Muppets.

  3. Richard, we got one of those. Well 2 actually

    You forgot to add the original “MEDIA RELEASE” (note more annoying capitalisation) didn’t have the attachment, and they had to resend.

    Anyway, the concept of backyard cricket being sponsored by a soft drink company seems a bit like cheating.

  4. What disturbs me is that the L&P poster boys look like 30-something Auckland ad guys (or their friends) who have HILARIOUSLY dressed up in the clothes they wore to their HILARIOUS retro ’80s classic Kiwi beach barbecue (at Hopetoun Alpha, not a beach) Christmas party.

    The only conclusion that can be logically drawn from this is that L&P are actively pursuing the douchebag market.

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