| Rugby | Cricket | Netball | League | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Match day |
Match itself dreadful bore, but networking top class |
Behind the bowlers’ arm or listening to Radio Sport in the bar |
You can GO to a game? No way! | Waving a big flag and being there each and every largely unrewarded week |
| Eating and drinking | Buffet left a little to be desired, must have a word to PA on Monday |
Off season spent on piss smuggling strategies | Milo, mostly, with the odd family sized Milky Bar | Big bitter, salty tears of disappointment |
| Showing support | Blues and All Black scarfs kept in boot of the Jag | Agonising sunburn and patchy nightclub eviction record | Ruth Aitken embossed dinner trays | Queues overnight for all matches, sell out or not |
| Patron saint | Colin Meads – so rustic and charming to talk to |
Chris Cairns, Adam Parore, or anyone with a bad attitude |
Lois Muir. Or Jo Seager | The Mad Butcher |
| TV | Good god, no | Usually catches highlights on clubhouse big screen, where you’ve been sleeping rough after Cheryl got house and kids, the bitch | Slightly perturbed at missing Coro, but TV’s set to ONE permanently as it is, Mittens ate the jolly remote years ago | Away matches at Workingman’s club. Better win / loss record in meat pack raffle than Warriors in NRL |
