Here’s my entry in the Dropkicks’ Olympic drinking game contest.

Equipment:
- Piss
- Vessel
- Couch
- TV
- A whole lot of sick days

One consume:
A crazy slo-mo camera angle has you wondering where the camera is

Two consumes:
A crazy slo-mo camera angle makes you suspect LSD flashback

Three consumes:
You have to Wikipedia the rules

Four consumes:
You wind up getting sucked into Wikipedia’s Family Ties, Shoelace Tying and Who Shot First pages and totally miss the race / match

Five consumes:
You retrieve your running shoes from behind the fridge after watching lithe bodies running / cycling / etc and giving your own telly belly a forlorn poke

Six Consumes:
You STILL don’t make it off the couch for the entire two weeks and / or winter

Seven Consumes:
It slowly dawns on you the wall to wall handball / beach volleyball coverage between 8PM and 10PM is about boosting ratings and leveraging gratuitous T ‘n’ A into primetime, not *actual sport*

Eight consumes:
You don’t really care

Twenty four consumes:
Yet another vacuous comment from the TVNZ gang make you absent-mindedly miss Tony Veitch