Annoying bloke in pub talks you through the Black Caps World Cup squad

G’day Mate. Here by yourself? Same here.

What are ya reading? The paper? I don’t bother, eh.

Got the sports section? Didja see they announced the Cricketers for the World Cup? Pack of girls, yinnow.

Shit, I’ve got pie on me.

The Aussies bloody laugh at us. Mate, they’ve got guys averaging 300 in domestic cricket that can’t make the team, yinnow? And a guy that bowls at 200 Ks. I’m moving to the Gold Coast next year, my cousin reckons it’s choice. Piss is cheaper there, eh. You get all the rugby on TV, too. You’re quiet, eh mate?

Tuffey got picked. Fark’s sake. Remember when he bowled that over for 38 at Eden Park? Farkin’ embarrassment. I could do better. You should’ve seen me in high school. Would’ve made First XI but for that FX82 going missing. Fark you like reading that paper, eh? Mate?