Weekend Roundup

All Blacks v Australia – Words like ‘Of’, ‘Fuckwits’ and ‘Pack’ spring to mind. Australia are now unrecognisable from their Brumbies-inspired glory days under McQueen and Eales, and any lingering goodwill that run gathered (it WAS a great team) is long gone. Resorting to bashing McCaw seems like a final roll of the dice from ‘Knuckles’ Connelly, halfway through his first season. They’ve lost 3-0 to a below par All Blacks who are only showing glimpses of that Lions Tour form (put that down to the rotation policy, and the low-keyness of it all with all eyes on French WC already). Thank god we don’t have to play Australia again this season, let’s leave them and the Saffas to grind out more brain-numbing rugby like their last match – I won’t be watching them, save for any unforeseen Clockwork Orange-type scenario.

Auckland v BOP – I got along to the game on Sunday for a recovery session from the night before. Eden Park was bathed in sunshine, and with feck-all people there, there was loads of room to spread out and take in an entertaining game. The Bay were undone by having two guys sent off so close to half time, and once Auckland got into gear there was little chance of a shield challenge-style result. BOP fans are still the best, we could see your man with the grey wig (what, is it that stressful being the bay’s number one fan?) trying to rile the crowd up. Auckland looked like Auckland always do – fairly ruthless, but little real flair. They’ve got some BIG lads in the team, though.

Bolton 2 Spurs 0 – Shit. I’m giving Berbatov and Zakora more time to settle before drawing any harsh conclusions. We need King back.

Chelsea 3 – Man City 0 – They’re going to win the first ten in a row again, aren’t they?

Performance of the weekend – It’s a tie between Carl Hayman trying to stop Tuquiri looking like a shearer chasing the guy who pinched his 24th can after drinking the first 23, or these guys.