Links on Friday – Cricket and Zombies

Possibly the greatest thing I’ve EVER posted (since the last one): want to see Martin Crowe in a Chris Gayle headband? Merv Hughes thinking he can walk through things? Gavin Larsen so excited he could shit? Alan Border looking annoyed? Behold.

Ian Botham is a big sportreview favorite – he’s also huge among the Australian homeless

If YOU love Evil Dead 2, surely compulsory post-match viewing for any right thinking Rugby fan, get ready for Halloween with the ED2 Chainsaw arm

Loadsa larfs at the undead’s expense is all very well – but bloody hero @nickjfrost tells you how to survive an re-animated corpse infestation, for real this time

Kicking a dingo when he’s down

Ricky defeat 090609

I was up early to see the Australians go out of the T20 World Cup at the hands of Sri Lanka (in their first game since the bus bomb in Pakistan). Nothing unites the cricketing world like an Ocker loss, here’s a selected run down from the blogs and that:

The Beige Holden points out Tricky Ricky is the biggest loser in international T20s now that he is responsible for 10 notches on other captains’ belts.

Jrod identifies the gaping holes in Ponting’s T20 captaincy (‘I do wish the Dutch were playing in the Ashes’), and speculates why they imploded like an NRL team on a brewery tour.

The Guardian revels in the Aussies’ upcoming fortnight in Leicester with all the potential for stir-craziness that entails, warning of ‘a national outcry if the England and Wales Cricket Board loans them as much as a Scrabble board.’

Balls’ book compo entry

Top Cricket blogger JRod has written a book: The year of the balls 2008: a cricket disrepsective. He’s running a competition to win one with 200 words or less on how CWB is ruining Cricket. Here’s my 198:

*Camera tracks past a pack of grizzly bears on crack patrolling the grounds of a darkened Hollywood hills mansion.*

PA: Mr Cruise?

Tom Cruise: This had better be good – Katie bluescreened again, I’m doing a complete re-install.

PA: You heard of Cricket?

Tom Cruise: Was I a Cricket player in Days Of Thunder?

PA: No…

Tom Cruise: Vanilla Sky? Fuck it, what you got, amigo?

PA: This… Cricket blogger is starting his own religion. Sehwagology.

Tom Cruise: You’re Fucking Kidding Me! That JRod shitheel usually peddles analysis as insightful as Andrew Flintoff ordering a post-Ashes win breakfast kebab! Now it’s a fucking religion?

PA: There might even be a T-Shirt.

Tom Cruise: I. Will. End. Him. Actually, fuck that. I’m going to end Cricket. Get me L. Ron’s reanimated corpse on line one…

*Cut to 2011. Montage of Richie Benaud sighing in a food court, Ian O’Brien blogging about scrapbooking and Lords being used for rolla-lawn before cutting to a hi-fi clearance outlet.*

Virender Sehwag: See this system here? This is Hi-Fi… high fidelity. What that means is that it’s the highest quality fidelity.

*Customer leaves, buzzer sounds as we see The Ashes propping the door open. Credits roll*

Meandering toward the big IPL bucks

Big talking point is Flintoff and Pieterson’s failure to earn their money by actually playing well and that before they bugger off. This fascinating article from Lawrence Booth theorises that English players just think too damn much:

Nottinghamshire batsman Mark Wagh recalls asking his former Warwickshire team-mate Brad Hogg “about his pre-delivery movements”. He goes on: “Should I go back and across or press with the front foot?” Hogg, the former Australian left-arm wrist-spinner, replies: “Not a clue, mate, sorry.” Wagh’s conclusion? “It’s funny how aiming to middle every ball causes the rest of your game to fall into place.”

Exhibit A: getahundred.com’s net session; the poor bloke gets himself in bits thinking about just what the fuck his feet are up to [NOTE: Not-English Tom defends his batting in the comments on this post!] . Exhibit B: My own shonky golf game improved no end after reading this book – it says, basically, your mind needs something to do to occupy itself while your body gets on with the job. I bet Sehwag doesn’t lose much sleep thinking about his feet.

My moment of the tournament so far is Kevin Pieterson attempting to switch-stance Dan Vettori, and being bowled about halfway up middle stump (above) – if someone can find the youtube clip, I’d be very grateful.

The other highlight has been JRod’s Dirk Nannes coverage. Greater love hath no paragraph-challenged cricket blogger than that for a hairy, lairy, barely under control Aussie fast bowler.

The online buzz is, of course, the Fake IPL player blog. I’m surprised sports betting outfits aren’t running odds on the IPL stooge. The nicknames mean most of it’s flying over my head, but it’s super stuff, I’m loving the bits about the commentators making cocks of themselves, as if they needed any help. Come home, Danny Morrison, your country needs you to shut the hell up for five minutes.

Who’s going to win it – who are you putting your money on in the IPL betting? Does it even matter? Really, it hasn’t really fired yet. I’ve gone from MySky-ing entire matches to taping the 1/2 hour highlights packages if that’s any indicator. This year’s tournament has been hampered by rain and comparisons with last year’s extravaganza, which buzzed with the novelty of the big money, the dancing girls and Brendan McCallum scoring runs. For me, the IPL seems to be mostly about things that aren’t cricket related.

Links on Friday

Steve Hanson must get awfully bored watching the game from those little glass boxes – just look at what happens when coaches sit in the crowd. Jim Telfer is sportreview.net.nz’s new hero.

Forget carb-based diets and personal trainers, to be The World’s Fastest Bowler in 1979 all you needed was a packet of Winfield Red and ill-advised moustache.  Presented by Richie Benaud, 12.

I’m sure TV Sports Journalism 101 must have something on live bits to camera vs taped bits to camera.

He must have a foot like a traction engine.

Incredibly Profitable League

– I’m officially getting behind the Royal Bangalore Challengers. I didn’t really follow the IPL last year, so no doubt someone’s going to tell me they’re the Yankees or  Man Utd of the competition, but if Jesse and Ross are playing, that’s good enough for me.

– Still, there were no early Black Cap fire works this year. Oram top scored for the Kiwis with eight, while Jesse and Taylor got ducks. Jake did do a great job with the dog, though.

– JRod has kindly previewed all the teams so I didn’t have to – here’s his Royals run-down.

–  sportreview.net.nz’s IPL t-shirts are still available and taking up valuable hall space I usually use for trips to the loo and emergency exits and that. Buy Now.