jrod

Listen to a reading from Jrod’s new book, where discusses Richie Benaud, and grabbing his balls. Richie’s balls. Intrigued? Just mildly sickened? You will be – get over to Cricket With Balls for a listen.

I was lucky enough to win a copy of The year of the balls 2008: a cricket disrespective by Jrod of Cricket with Balls, with my 200 words. Here’s what I thought:

2008 was the year of Australia v India (twice), England v New Zealand (twice), South Africa in England, the IPL and South Africa in Australia. It was also the year of Sehwagology, Nice Bryce, Dirty Dirk, the Crab and mental images of the world’s top Cricketers shagging that prove very difficult to shift once you’ve read them.

Cricket With Balls’ 2008 blog posts have had a shit, shower and shave and been published in a book, an honest to goodness read on the bus, in bed and on the dunny book. Reading a book is totally different to reading the internet; you can take it in slowly and re-read each zinger without wondering what’s happening on Wikipeida and diving off to the next tab, comment or tweet.

If you read CWB, you’ll be familiar with JRod, the Rasputin of Cricket bloggers’ style. Cricket’s English traditions, Sub continent fervor, Aussie hard-nosed-ness, Kiwi niceness, West Indian cool and South African boring work ethic is great raw material for writing, and JRod’s blog combines a very Australian ear for a dirty joke, Lester Bangs’ passion, Peter Cook’s refusal to suffer fools and Richie Benaud’s love and respect for the game. You laugh a lot reading this 2008 Disrespective, but often feel like you could use a shower and vigorous scrub afterwards. Here’s a taste:

Sehwagology scripture: SEVEN – ‘You shall not commit quick singles’

Andrew Symonds goes AWOL: Symonds has broken clause 17.67a, ‘Drinking any alcohol is fine, but you cannot drinking in any bar that thinks Bundy and Coke is a cocktail.

Jaques Kallis having sex: Jaques will the enter the bed, still under the covers and position himself on top of you, being careful not to touch you in any erotic way.

On Stephen Fleming retiring: …he captained like a mad scientist, rather than the McDonald’s managers most captains are. Without guys like Flaming, Cricket would be stuck in the 1800s and we’d all be bored shitless.

CWB’s 2008 Disrespective is passionate, constructive, knowledgeable (I learned loads about leg spin. And a few new swear words) and, most importantly, realises that to take sport too seriously is to miss the point. As a blogger, reading an actual paper and cover physical book someone’s had the balls (ahem) to go out and make is deeply inspiring stuff. I think it’s fair to say Cricket With Balls has has improved Cricket. Simple as that, and a nobler achievement for a Cricket blog I cannot imagine.

Well done. Great nut. Onya. Support a guy who’s doing what you wish you could do. Buy a copy, don’t just win one.

Big talking point is Flintoff and Pieterson’s failure to earn their money by actually playing well and that before they bugger off. This fascinating article from Lawrence Booth theorises that English players just think too damn much:

Nottinghamshire batsman Mark Wagh recalls asking his former Warwickshire team-mate Brad Hogg “about his pre-delivery movements”. He goes on: “Should I go back and across or press with the front foot?” Hogg, the former Australian left-arm wrist-spinner, replies: “Not a clue, mate, sorry.” Wagh’s conclusion? “It’s funny how aiming to middle every ball causes the rest of your game to fall into place.”

Exhibit A: getahundred.com’s net session; the poor bloke gets himself in bits thinking about just what the fuck his feet are up to [NOTE: Not-English Tom defends his batting in the comments on this post!] . Exhibit B: My own shonky golf game improved no end after reading this book - it says, basically, your mind needs something to do to occupy itself while your body gets on with the job. I bet Sehwag doesn’t lose much sleep thinking about his feet.

My moment of the tournament so far is Kevin Pieterson attempting to switch-stance Dan Vettori, and being bowled about halfway up middle stump (above) – if someone can find the youtube clip, I’d be very grateful.

The other highlight has been JRod’s Dirk Nannes coverage. Greater love hath no paragraph-challenged cricket blogger than that for a hairy, lairy, barely under control Aussie fast bowler.

The online buzz is, of course, the Fake IPL player blog. I’m surprised sports betting outfits aren’t running odds on the IPL stooge. The nicknames mean most of it’s flying over my head, but it’s super stuff, I’m loving the bits about the commentators making cocks of themselves, as if they needed any help. Come home, Danny Morrison, your country needs you to shut the hell up for five minutes.

Who’s going to win it – who are you putting your money on in the IPL betting? Does it even matter? Really, it hasn’t really fired yet. I’ve gone from MySky-ing entire matches to taping the 1/2 hour highlights packages if that’s any indicator. This year’s tournament has been hampered by rain and comparisons with last year’s extravaganza, which buzzed with the novelty of the big money, the dancing girls and Brendan McCallum scoring runs. For me, the IPL seems to be mostly about things that aren’t cricket related.