Me and the family are off to Sydney for a few days next week, we’ve got the Aquarium, the Zoo and the Powerhouse Museum on the list.

But what should I be checking out sport-wise? All advice, tips, links and cycle shop tips gratefully accepted.

Links on Friday – Alan Partridge

Ice white shoes. Ice white socks with navy blue double cadet stripes – it’s Alan in Paris. That’s… that’s the Eiffel Tower.

Remove the Apple Pie. And remove yourself from the theatre of conflict.

After a decent Links on Friday sesh, why not prop up the bar with a few ladyboys? You mentalist.

It’s a great model, it goes like a bomb… and the car’s not bad either!

Dan! is off piste for the week

No this week. Reading list ’til next time:

The No-Stats All-Star – Michael Lewis, NYT

Lance Armstrong Rides Again – Douglas Brinkley, Vanity Fair

The pain of pedal power – Simon Scardifield, The Times

‘Happiness was defined by the moment when you slotted a Subbuteo football past your best friend’s goalkeeper’ – Extracts of Graham Taylor and David Baddiel’s Subbuteo reminiscences, The Guardian

Sex, drugs and shoulder pads – The unbelievable story of the implosion of the Dallas Cowboys – Jeff Pearlman, The Observer

Non sport: Playing The Beatles Backwards: The Ultimate Countdown – Jamsbio

Links on Friday

Best. Commentator. Ever. ‘Pour some sugar on me!’. We need this guy for Black Caps v India NOW (but none of this).

This is like one of those ACC ads. For God’s Sake, Don’t Go To The Football And Fall Asleep. YOU WILL BREAK YOUR FACE!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Gannets, seals, dolphins and frickin’ sharks all gang up on a bunch of sardines. *Spoiler* – the sardines lose.

‘The horror… the horror…’ ‘Bit of a late night, was it?

Links on Friday (on Saturday) fully endorses and approves of swearing. So does this guy. Here he is golfing. I think I’ve found a new hero.

Bond girls exposed.

These Beez guys have either discovered a new paradigm shift in the skateboard arena with their blue sky thinking – or they’re just really really high.

Can someone clean that shit away, please?

Links on Friday

Never get EXTREME, team – someone could lose an eye.

Great sporting losersAll Blacks feature, as do the 1999 Safas. But Brazil 1982 – here they are taking Ray Woolf’s All Whites to bits in a leisurely fashion.

RIP Paul Newman – not only is he a decent pool player, but he had a Volvo station wagon with a frickin’ V8 in it, too.

If you take on the Killeroo you will get your face eaten off.

Links on Friday

Stroppy 70’s legend Johann Cruyff cusses out photographers, beats hapless defenders like they were The Joker’s henchmen, backheel volleys a goals with REPETICION, all to Thunderbirds music… this clip has everything.

I bet these real life Quiddich players were beaten up a lot at school. And running around with a broom between your legs? Someone’s on for a nasty injury, mark my words.

Zombie Harmony is one of the best undead dating sites on the web.

Rangas deserve everything they get.

Links on Friday

Everyone loves Top Gear – but are they cool? Really?

“Zombies cannot run – so if you see a person running at you, it’s not a zombie. DON’T shoot him. Give him a high-five.” “You’re blocking one of your own guys out there!” “He doesn’t matter, my safety is more important than his.” This is all invaluable zombie-infestation survival advice, team.

Here’s how to make a single speed hipster bike.

Do I not like that – insane, foul mouthed England football coach doco.