Links on Friday

Who did the best presidential first pitch? For sportreview.net.nz, Obama wins best jeans, Regan best jacket, Clinton takes most surprising lack of fire while JFK wins for best suit and not even bothering to get out on the field.  See them all.

The connoisseurs of Litton’s audacity were galvanized. They stared at course maps: He could have cut it there—or there. For the conspiracy-minded, it was a juicy peach, and LetsRun contributors adopted handles like Lone Gunman and Zapruder. The paramount question was “How?” Did he have an accomplice? Did he drive from point to point? Ride a bicycle? Devise digital subversions?

Long read from the New Yorker – amateur sleuths suspect marathon runner of cheating, crowdsource massive / obsessive / nerdy  investigation.

Two guys kayak down a drain at about eleven thousand miles an hour. Try and watch this without ducking at your desk:

Fallon on Sumner

“We used to have our battles in training me and Stevie, don’t worry. It wan’t always pleasant and it was toe to toe sometimes. 

“In the latter days, which is a funny one actually, we got along great! When we weren’t on the field we actually became friends!”

A very Kevin Fallon tribute to Steve Sumner on Morning Report, managing to sound a bit put out that his former skipper took over his desk at Gisborne City. For more Fallon, read Duncan Greive’s boots and all Metro profile.

RIP Steve Sumner, obviously. Fantastic captain, fantastic eyebrows. Here is scoring six against Fiji en route to Spain.

Post script – OK, we won this 13-0, but there’s some glaring missed chances here. Fuming.

Links on Friday

The FIFA 17 football game can get deeply weird – but FIFA 17 in real life is weirder:

This professional wide boy looks after the Premier League’s highly paid man-child’s every need, from mobile phones to super cars.

My friend told me, “Now I have to work, you’re kind of on your own from here.” In other words, If you get caught, I don’t know you. The three rules he gave me were no autographs, no personal photos, and no cheering.

All you need to get press access to a major league baseball game is a fake newspaper and a fair amount of Chutzpah.

Behold – the coolest sneakers in movies in one minute:

Links on Friday

From the ‘fark that’ files – downhill urban mountain biking:

Watching Ronaldo was like watching a river flowing, lightning flashing, or a herd of bulls stampeding across the plains. It was profound and beautiful, insomuch as it was a natural occurrence. Ronaldo was a phenomenon, and he inspired the requisite human awe.

Vice on Ronaldo, the proper buck-toothed, huge shouldered, twinkletoed one, not the irritating gobshite one.

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If, like perennially slow to the party sportreview.net.nz, you had no idea what the Crying Jordan meme was all about, the New York Times has you covered.

Fan engagement at its absolute best, from the sportreview.net.nz-endorsed Oakland A’s:

Cheika shits in All Black dressing room

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Cheika: Made pre-match grunt sculpture in AB toilet.

NEWSDESK: Eye gouging, refereeing criticism and boot throwing – you can now add a surreptitious pre-match steamer to the list.

Under-fire Wallabies coach Michael Cheika has been accused of defecating and creating an offensive odour  in the All Black dressing room before his team’s 29-9 defeat at Westpac Stadium on Saturday night.

Closed circuit TV confirms the Wallabies coach entered the opposition shed carrying that morning’s Dominion Post sport section under one arm, shortly before the cave painting was discovered.

Head coach Steve Hansen is playing the incident down. “The smell was worse than a dead possum in the boot, but we train for this kind of thing. The boys stuck to their processes and still got the result.

“We like to invite the opposition in for a beer after the match, but a spray and wipe like this certainly crosses a line. When Michael looks back at his decision making around dropping the kids off at the pool he’ll be disappointed.”

The IRB issued a statement expressing its disappointment in the inter-changing room floater, and reminded member countries to obey the usual home and away ablution protocols. The incident was being referred to the newly formed Bodily Function Sub-Committee, whose report is due mid-2019.

The incident is the first trans-Tasman turd since Michael Brial shat in Frank Bunce’s shoe at a 1996 Bledisloe post-match function.

Links on Friday

Brendon McCullum’s all-time Test XI. All the great aggressive batsmen are there (except Baz himself). Sir Viv is captain and Tim n Trent are the seamers. An extremely solid line up this one, and I’d expect Kane to slip in at number 3 or 4 in the next few years.


Team GB’s psychological training for Rio included finding your bag at the airport, apparently.

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These ‘sneakers’ would look more at home parked on the driveway than on your feet – there are worse, much worse, in the 20 ugliest sneakers of the past 20 years.

Missing the games already? This is old but well worth another look – Irish sailing commentator has no idea and abuses Australians, pleasingly.

All Black leadership group spends test week brainstorming sick burns

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NEWSDESK: In the build up to the Sydney test, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen has his new-look leadership group working on big hits on the opposition coach rather than the tackle bags.

“This group is all about getting better,” said Hansen. “That’s why I’ve challenged the leaders to come up with some sick burns on that shit wombat.”

“It’s a tough room,” said first-year skipper Kieren Read. “I thought my bits about Hooper looking like the son of Phil Waugh and a wheelie bin was pretty brutal, but the boys shredded it. It’s good to get the feedback.”

In the past, Hansen would work on lines in his suite with Richie McCaw and Conrad Smith before practising delivery on Ian Foster, but is confident the new approach will be as effective. Rumours that Aaron Cruden’s benching was related to nicking all his material from a late night Seinfeld episode were unconfirmed.

Links on Friday

Godzilla – great at trampling model buildings, breathing fire. Shit at putting it in the net:

Watching blokes fish for Yellowfin Tuna and Giant Travelly in the Seychelles is the kind of thing that makes you want to run away to sea.

John McEnroe – still the greatest.

Road cycling and peacocking go hand in hand, as mainly middle aged white guys want to make it clear to passersby they’ve dropped shitloads of wonga on their rides and lycra – but if you’re a proper Tour de France rider forced to wear a team uniform by The Man, how do you stand out? New York Times investigates.