Categorylinks on friday

Links on Friday

The FIFA 17 football game can get deeply weird – but FIFA 17 in real life is weirder:

This professional wide boy looks after the Premier League’s highly paid man-child’s every need, from mobile phones to super cars.

My friend told me, “Now I have to work, you’re kind of on your own from here.” In other words, If you get caught, I don’t know you. The three rules he gave me were no autographs, no personal photos, and no cheering.

All you need to get press access to a major league baseball game is a fake newspaper and a fair amount of Chutzpah.

Behold – the coolest sneakers in movies in one minute:

Links on Friday

From the ‘fark that’ files – downhill urban mountain biking:

Watching Ronaldo was like watching a river flowing, lightning flashing, or a herd of bulls stampeding across the plains. It was profound and beautiful, insomuch as it was a natural occurrence. Ronaldo was a phenomenon, and he inspired the requisite human awe.

Vice on Ronaldo, the proper buck-toothed, huge shouldered, twinkletoed one, not the irritating gobshite one.

screenhunter_853-sep-09-08-01

If, like perennially slow to the party sportreview.net.nz, you had no idea what the Crying Jordan meme was all about, the New York Times has you covered.

Fan engagement at its absolute best, from the sportreview.net.nz-endorsed Oakland A’s:

Links on Friday

Brendon McCullum’s all-time Test XI. All the great aggressive batsmen are there (except Baz himself). Sir Viv is captain and Tim n Trent are the seamers. An extremely solid line up this one, and I’d expect Kane to slip in at number 3 or 4 in the next few years.


Team GB’s psychological training for Rio included finding your bag at the airport, apparently.

ScreenHunter_832 Aug. 26 08.25

These ‘sneakers’ would look more at home parked on the driveway than on your feet – there are worse, much worse, in the 20 ugliest sneakers of the past 20 years.

Missing the games already? This is old but well worth another look – Irish sailing commentator has no idea and abuses Australians, pleasingly.

Links on Friday

Godzilla – great at trampling model buildings, breathing fire. Shit at putting it in the net:

Watching blokes fish for Yellowfin Tuna and Giant Travelly in the Seychelles is the kind of thing that makes you want to run away to sea.

John McEnroe – still the greatest.

Road cycling and peacocking go hand in hand, as mainly middle aged white guys want to make it clear to passersby they’ve dropped shitloads of wonga on their rides and lycra – but if you’re a proper Tour de France rider forced to wear a team uniform by The Man, how do you stand out? New York Times investigates.

Links on Friday

Asterix and Obelix taught me wild boars were something you chased for a little while, then magically transformed into a roast. Asterix and Obelix lied.

If you’ve watched Kane’s cover drives and Guppy’s lofted straight drives and thought you could do that, you are wrong. It’s a bit bloody different when you’re out there with an actual bat facing an actual ball, even in sportreview.net.nz’s old-man’s T20 league – real life tends a bit more… agricultural. Pete Langman on the shots we *actually* play.

Game Of Life is for losers.

Links on Friday

Lord’s with lights looks amazing. And they’re only bloody telescopic.

Hunter took at least another two minutes lining up his putt, then struck it quickly. He missed the putt by about a foot and, charging after it, let out a howl as he winged his putter into the pond. The geese started honking and Hunter ran back to the cart, pulled the 12-gauge from his golf bag and fired over the geese, and they lifted off the pond like a sparkling cloud of gray and white feathers.

This is what it’s like to play golf with Hunter S. Thompson on acid.

When your centre forward suffers a horrible injury, there’s nothing more reassuring than a tweet of them thumbs aloft in a hospital bed, enjoying the food – and so: a brief history of sportsmen in hospital beds.

The pigs are all like ‘this kind of shit happens all the time – oh look, lunch is here!’:

Links on Friday

The new face of international diplomacy. Euro wrecker Boris Johnson drops his shoulder into the middle of an opponent’s gentleman’s area, while playing football. Best comedy foreign minister since Winston.

Long read – Premier League rivalries unraveled.
Includes Arsenal’s underhand and wholly immoral inclusion in top flight football then and forever more, and ones that spring up then fade, like Liverpool and Chelsea in the late 2000s. Some rivalries you don’t want, like when Spurs depressingly played Wimbledon something like 16 times in a week in 1999, and some are just weird, like our ‘title rivalry with Leicester City in 2016’. Tremendous pics and layout here too.

Turns out Bradley Cooper is an uber-Tennis fan, turning up all over the world to watch @PseudoFed, looking impossibly yet casually cool.

Screen Shot 2016-07-15 at 7.31.38 am

The name of this article, “These Incredibly Shit Euro 2016 Flags Will Make You Lose All Hope For Humanity” does said flags a disservice, because they are brilliant.

Screen Shot 2016-07-15 at 7.52.25 am

Screen Shot 2016-07-15 at 8.09.30 am

 

 

Links on Friday

“What do you think we come here for, silver? Stuff the silver, we came for the gold!” If you ever coached a rank outsider to an Olympic gold medal, this is the entirely appropriate response.

“We got on the podium and done the River Dance.” Simon Hattenstone meets the chancers who blagged their way into the Man U team photo, hit balls at Wimbledon, walked out to bat in the Ashes and more.

sportreview.net.nz is firmly Team Macca – it turns out that when you’re a universally beloved moptopped genius, all you really want is a Nets tee-shirt.

Arsenal set the standard for bleak fan comedy – here, a man tries to incinerate his shirt, fails:

Links on Friday – Martin Crowe

Gideon Haigh: “The second thing that struck me was how completely alive he was, how dedicated to getting the most and best out of every encounter, his utter humility and insatiable curiosity. Some cricketers never cease being cricketers. Even after retirement they are still at the crease; they can’t stop taking guard.”

Paul Ford in All Out Cricket: “…I think Crowe’s eccentricity made him a complicated and therefore compelling character. He wasn’t a cardboard cut-out, devoid of personality, delivering rote-learned comments to anyone who asked.” See also – Raw book launch.”

Sportsfreak: “He had this new found infatuation with short form cricket yet he attempted to incorporate it with his purist inclinations. The Max Zone was a brilliant innovation; even now commentators applaud the loft over the bowler’s head.  The four stumps idea; short lived as it was, also had purist origins. It was probably ahead of itself in terms of public demand, and was too innovative.”

Jarrod Kimber: “Martin Crowe was like a beautifully illustrated coaching manual come to life. He managed to play forward, and still late. He rotated the strike right up until the moment there was a ball he could hit for four, and then it went. His batting was calm and complete. There was no histrionics. He wasn’t a man who got sucked in to conflicts, he just batted, perfectly.”

Toby Manhire: “I was there with my friend Andrew in the Vance Stand at the Basin in 1991, to watch him fall a run short of a test 300 on the third to last ball of the game. Crowe’s howls of frustration leaked up from the dressing room beneath. You could feel his Duncan Fearnley bat bounce off the walls.”

Martin Guptill post-scoring 237 in the World Cup (from 2’20”)

Me, on The Spinoff: Endless summer days were spent happily indoors, obsessing over his old-school bat-on-the-ground stance, dead still until the last minute before leaning on a straight drive, or crashing it over the Basin’s outfield practice wickets, or manhandling a pull over Eden Park’s short boundary with those gargantuan forearms.

Taking down Wasim Akram, playing without a helmet.

Spell binding interview at the NZC cricket awards 2015 that appropriately made the show run way over time.

Scoring 50 in a charity match in 2011. Still had it.

Links on Friday

Yorkshire Postman gets very very angry about a bicycle race road closure, takes matters into his own hands, and uses impressively bad language if you listen carefully.

“I’m star-struck when I see Paul Scholes, because you never see him. On the pitch you can’t catch him. Off the pitch he disappears.”Luis Figo

sportreview.net.nz agrees, so here’s an essay about Scholes and Patrick Viera, two totems of the Premier League when it was arguably at its peak.

Speaking of Woolich, in a lazy but effective troll, A Genius inserts a photocopied pic of Van Persie celebrating scoring for Man U v Arsenal instead of the promised Arsenal DVD in online trade. Approved.

Golfing athletic wear may seem like an elaborate attempt to attract a mate, but here are the top ten encounters with actual animals on the PGA Tour, featuring alligators, turtles and bees.

© 2017 sportreview.net.nz

Theme by Anders NorénUp ↑