The Eden Park one-two

Tomorrow, instead of spending my best years sitting at a desk (I love my job, really), I’ll mostly be sleeping in then trotting off to the Cricket (if the rain stays away). Let’s see if we can wrap it up 3-0 and then play the kids. What? We’re beating them WITH the kids? OK then.

While I’m there, I’ll fire some insight (heh) through to the Sportsfreak. Their live blog of game two was a real larf and got picked up on the Guardian’s blog.

Actually, I’m just hoping to see the lights. I’ve been to two day night matches where it’s been all over before they’re even turned on. Come on, England!

Then on Saturday night, it’s Eden Park again for the Chiefs v the Blues. They will play a game called Rugby, you may have heard of it. Surreally, it’s that season again, seems like only yesterday I was wallowing in a black hovel of despair… Still, it’s not going to go away, and as much as I hate myself, I’ve got a nagging curiosity, and I’ll be interested to see the New Rules. I’ve got no idea what they’re about. It’s going to be a shambles. Nah, it IS far too early to be watching Rugby, isn’t it?

ICC brainstorms new Cricket format ‘Like Twenty20, but lasting five whole days’

SRPA: The ICC is set to rock the cricket world with a radical new format designed to take on the rebel Twenty20 leagues. The game takes place over five consecutive days, with no limits on bowlers’ overs, and team batting twice, if required. “There may well be scenarios where an individual could bat all day, if he’s good enough.” said ICC Chief executive Malcolm Speed at a press conference. “Imagine that!”

“There may be a few rumblings from the Long Room brigade, but we’re sure they’ll come around.” said ICC Director Of Communications Tim Strong-Ginbender. “Cricket’s a game of tradition – but we can’t be afraid to innovate. Where will the Michael Bevans and Chris Harrises of the future come from? Cricket’s forefathers, visionary men like Kerry Packer, would approve I’m sure.”

The new format was developed by a specially commissioned think tank, fresh from designing the 2007 World Cup format. “We holed up in a Dubai hotel with a whiteboard for three months.” explained Strong-Ginbender. “There was no such thing as a bad idea. Five days? Sure! Two innings? Go with that! Different coloured balls – why not red? Just a tremendous amount of energy and enthusiasm in the room.”

Players’ consultant Inzamam Ul-Haq, who spent the press conference slowly shaking his head and moaning softly, declined to answer any questions not related to the hotel’s buffet, which featured excellent Pain Au Chocolat and unlimited coffee refills before 10.30am.

Hawera man wants Sevens crowd to sit down, shut up, watch game

SRPA: Don Singely of Hawera came out swinging today, outraged by the Wellington Sevens’ crowd behaviour over the weekend. “They’re not REAL sevens fans. Anyone would think they don’t care about Tonga v the USA at all.” By his estimation, Singely shouted “Siddown!” 47 times, “Shut-up!” 23 times, “Watch the game!” 56 times, and “Why don’t you fuck off back to Auckland, you Johnny-fuck-knuckle Village People reject?” a formidable 315 times.

Singely’s highlights of the weekend included the Samoa v Fiji nailbiter; “Magic”, and a man dressed as a parking warden tripping and landing on his face; “Halarious!”. Singely missed New Zealand’s thrilling last minute win having already left Wellington Stadium to beat the traffic.

Links on Friday

– Gilchrist’s 57 ball century – Gilly is cool, dogdy “I always walk / but sometimes like to appeal for obvious non-catches, too” stance aside

– Attention wincing fans! Here’s the 15 Greatest Mountain Bike crashes eva

– Before Spike Jonze became the guy being mean to Scarlett Johansson in Lost In Translation, he made skateboard videos – and pretty bloody well, too

– Worst sport movies ever – they’re no Carry Me Back, that’s for sure

Cross post: Guide to Cricket this summer

Here’s one I prepared earlier at The Aucklandista…

Cricket’s a summer bat and ball game invented by England but perfected by the West Indies, India, Pakistan and Australia (boo!). Being English, there’s a whole bunch of complicated rules, but they won’t concern you when you’re deciding if you can still eat a hot dog dropped in a beer. Keen to get involved? There’s an FAQ after the jump…

Continue reading “Cross post: Guide to Cricket this summer”

Links on Friday (on Saturday)

Welcome to the new pad, don’t worry ’bout taking your shoes off. I decided to get a little more serious about this, and have been pissing about with WordPress and the like for the last month or so. Now it’s live I should have a little more time to actually write something. Anyway, here’s some links.

– Alan Shearer won’t be joining King Kev at Newcastle. Good, I reckon Shearer’s a dick, and everyone loves Kev, right? Here’s poor old Neil Lennon headbutting Shearer’s foot – he’s not so tough when Keano gets involved, though

– Sky Sport UK’s Jeff Stelling goes off on one defending Oop North. Magic

– Myself and Ms Sportreview have a little bundle of joy on the way – this parenting lark looks pretty easy, though eh

– A new white middle class complaint every day. We need a good war to sort this lot out, team

We beat the scum 5-1


Spurs beat Arsenal 5-1 in the second leg of the Carling Cup (bite on that, Cactus Kate). Yeah, it was only Arsenal’s kids, and only the Carling Cup, but I’ll take it. Spurs had a similar hoodoo against Chelsea, and we broke that in the Carling Cup before beating them in the league, so it’s a good sign, I reckon. Thoughts:

– It’s good to move from the Jol unpleasantness. Ramos likes his teams to play fairly directly, and we hit them on the break for at least two goals. Nothing wrong with that, and we’re relying less on long punts from Robinson (who’s dropped now anyway, and was apparently skulking in the tunnel at final whistle). The players have been training very hard indeed from reports

– Jenas was on fire, and this win was less reliant on Berbatov magic. A good sign if he’s on his way, but I’d love to keep him, ‘cos he’s class

– The Guardian’s Fiver reports that Arsenal’s Adebayo thumped teammate Nicklas Bendtner, which is great, but points out Arsenal are still in the title race, Champion’s League, and FA Cup, whic is fair enough. Still some catching up to do, alright

– Reading reports from the UK that Glen Hoddle in the studio did a subtle fist pump when the 5th went in and said ‘another one’. No word on fellow pundit Paul Merson’s thoughts at the time – he probably lost a bundle

– Goals here – loved the camera shaking at 4-0, and the Gooners walking out

Links on Friday

– Peyton Manning coaching kids’ football – “Go sit in the portaloo for twenty minutes! WHY is the door open?” You have got to be firm with youngsters, team.
– Ramsay’s Fucking Kitchen Nightmares – heh
– Raiders of the lost ark lego set – make all your dreams of escaping from poison darts and rolling rocks on the lounge floor come true
– Jason Kottke’s best links 2007 – links that are actually good