Links on Friday – Sporting TV endorsements

Tiger Woods, World’s Best Golfer™ never shies away from earning shitloads of cash flogging Rolexes, Private Jets or have you – at least he *can* do it with some style if he wants to.

No shit guy Lance Armstrong, too, is big on endorsements. Yes, he’s an incredible rider, but bringing dead Elephants back to life is a bridge too far, surely.

Shane Warne has joined the Cricket greats in endorsing hair growth snake oil, and has worked in an office, but just look what the mother of his children has been reduced to.

And of course, the South Africans do TV spots as boringly efficiently as they beat All Black sides. Hilarious.

Steve Tew threatens the nation with John Mitchell, Jason Gunn

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NEWSDESK: NZRFU CEO Steve Tew warned today that continued criticism of the All Black coaching panel could see Wayne Smith and Steve Hansen’s roles taken up  by former All Black head coach John Mitchell and grinning twat Jason Gunn.

At a tense press conference, Tew said that assembled press needed to “watch it”, and that he was “this close” to  appointing the indecipherable, unpopular Mitchell to coach the All Black pack, while Dancing With The Stars co-host Gunn would oversee the backline, with Thingee joining as kicking coach in a package deal.

Tew said the NZRFU had considered this approach in the past. “We had a long look at bringing in Earle Kirton and the ZM Morning Crew after 2007, a long look,” said Tew. “We saved you ungrateful fucks two years of post match analysis with Polly and Grant.” A clearly tired and emotional Tew then challenged reporters to “Test me! Go on, test me! Do you WANT Mitch and Jase the Ace?” before being lead hurriedly away by NZRFU communications staff.

All Black coach Laurie Mains was quick to question Gunn’s coaching credentials; “I mean, I enjoy a Milo and Dancing With The Stars as much as the next man (Paul Holmes was very good, wasn’t he?), but I’d question Jason’s experience at the top level. Maybe if he came up through the Heartland comp or spent some time in the Currie Cup, they’d love him over there.”

The move is not without precedent; innovative coach Clive Woodward trialled Barry from Eastenders as defensive coordinator early in his regime and the New South Wales Warratahs have recruited Aussie party teenager Corey Delaney as head coach for next years’ Super 14.