Commonwealth Bank Series round up


I’m not really capable of writing up last night’s match, ‘cos I watched it on the Internet (I’m not even capable full stop, really). So we’re out of the Tri Series when only last week we were contemplating playing with the Aussies more than Neil Finn, with the Tri Series finals followed by the Chappell – Hadlee series, but thanks to England’s resurgence, we’re out. Here’s my hits and misses for the series:

Hits
– We played better than against Sri Lanka – not that hard to do, but after being bowled out for 73, I’ll take it
– Oram topped the NZ averages for the series with 87, and strikes fear into Australian hearts like a closed betting shop. He’ll be huge in the Windies
– Bond, save one scare, is still injury free, and posted some great figures at last last night. Cotton wool, NOW
– The rotation policy seems to have been binned, and we’ve got a top order again
– We’ve got bowlers to help Dan and Shane out. With Gillespie, Patel and Franklin we have a bowling ATTACK instead of batsmen bowling slow mediums to bore sides out
– We still get to play Australia three times which will provide more sledging opportunities, and it never hurts to play the best. Just ask the Wallabies

Misses
– We catch and field like we’re drunk. This is usually one of our big strengths, I hope they have a lot of training scheduled between now and the WC
– We don’t have Nathan Astle now – with the form he was in, and the freshness of Vincent, Oram and Styris we didn’t notice so much, but there should have been a place for an experienced campaigner like him to go to the WC as backup at least
– Fleming’s form – yes he got a century, but he’s still not at his best – he needs to pull finger and quick

Moment of the Series – Oram’s century in Perth. Following Vincent’s return to the side, this was the turning point and when the chaps remembered they CAN bat after all. It pissed McGrath off too so yeah, I enjoyed it a lot

Most painful momentthis one. Concentration is the key, Kevin

Now we’re getting somewhere


Australia vs New Zealand ODI @ the WACA
– We got stuffed in the field, if I had a dollar for every time they showed Dan Vettori looking sick after dropping Hayden, I’d have 126 bucks
– Having said that, we actually hauled them back just a little from an insurmountable total – with 12 overs to go I thought they’d get 400
– In that heat Ponting and Hayden really showed some fight and class to graft out their hundreds
– Great to have Lou Vincent back, he did a great job (save those too-*@!#-cute-by-half reverse sweeps), and might have steered us to a win if he wasn’t given out LBW off his gloves. Calling Symonds a wanker and doing the tugger sign was a touch of class too, hilariously prompting dead air from everyone’s favorite commentary team
– Oram was phenomenal – I feel a lot better about our World Cup chances with him in the team
– McCullum showed his great technique to patiently score singles and give Oram the strike, before wading into some boundary-hitting himself. Hey Braces – HE’S NOT AN OPENER!
– Every time Oram hit a six into the WACA’s hill, a pissed gaggle of inbreds and their fat children looking fresh from a gig as Peter Jackson extras started killing each other for the ball – a really scary insight there
– I loved seeing McGrath getting smashed into the stands a couple of times, not to mention when he dropped Oram while turning in circles like a drunk dog chasing its tail. I know it’s sad and not very sporting, but basically, my idea of fun is anything slightly unfortunate happening to Glenn McGrath
– We really need to build on this and push on – we should be able to do the Poms comfortably now, and we’ll still have (at least) three more games against the Aussies, making a pretty fair build up to the World Cup
– With Styris and Bond to come back, and with everyone fit and well, our first team goes like this:
Vincent
Fleming
Fulton
Taylor
Styris
Oram
McCullum
Vettori
Mills
Gillespie
Bond
with Patel, Franklin and Macca as back up – we’re not looking too bad all of a sudden

Bonus football linkHow good is Wayne Rooney?

Links on Friday


Ireland vs Australia Compromise Rules – Paddies and Ockers have loads in common, like a deep love of gambling, wit/swearing, binge drinking – and sport nobody else plays, ie Gaelic Football and Australian Rules. Enter Compromise Rules, an excuse for a scrap thinly disguised as a sporting event
‘The Look’ – Lance Armstrong gives Jan Ullrich the beat down in the Alps, 2001
Kiwi Blokes – click on the Chainsaw for everything bloke-like. Actually, the fact you’re sat at a computer, and not out drive-by deer hunting in the Holden, means none of this applies
Consumption photos – this is pretty freaky
Zinadine’s European Cup winning volley vs Bayer Leverkusen – I miss that Spock-like nutter already
How to get traffic for your blog – and there I was relying on the power of stupidity and laziness…

Links on Friday


First pictures of Top Gear’s Richard Hammond crashing – Glad he made it out OK. Top Gear is the BBC’s car show that, in the words of host Jeremy Clarkson, “…features three middle-aged men who are actually nine years old.”
Classic 80s Games online – This is fairly extensive. Bonus link: C64 games. Go nuts
Album covers battle – A whole lot of ALBUM (remember those, iPod weenies?) covers battle it out. Scarily clever, see how many you recognise from flipping through the bargin bins
List of Films by gory death scene – Cross referenced by dismemberment, beheading, etc. What DID we do without the Internets, eh?
Cullen v. ScotlandFark he was good
George Meyer interview – the guy who made The Simpsons funny

Bloody proud to be a Kiwi today



Ever since Peter Jackson got famous and started going to the Oscars and that, there’s a huge void in New Zealand’s splatter/gore/farm animal film canon he pioneered (here’s the stupidest / best bit in PJ’s Bad Taste). Bollocks to fashion or auction websites, Sheep are still the blimmin’ backbone of this country, so I teared up just a little when watching the trailer for upcoming NZ film Black Sheep.

Most NZers have deep, dark issues with these moronic woolly creatures, especially people growing up in rural areas that ate their pet lambs – so seeing our film makers come up with twisted shit like this is hardly surprising. Black Sheep comes out in late March here in New Zealand. Here’s the youtubed trailer:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-l93gltkCc]

Links on Friday


PJ O’Rourke on the Bicycle Menace – There’s nothing stopping Auckland becoming an Amsterdam-like cycling haven. Apart from the hills, humidity, and the “OMYFARKINGOD GET OUT OF MY WAY I NEED TO HIT 70 KPH BEFORE THE NEXT RED LIGHT ARRRGHH ARRRGHH” attitude many motorists share
Paul Gasgoine retrospective – You forget how good he was pre-knee injury
Movies listed by ‘F’ word count – Tarantino scores highly here, of course. Bonus link – Pulp Fiction with everything but the swearing taken out
Bob Mack vs The ‘Nuge – the greatest Rock and Roll interview ever (click the links further down)
Thermonuclear Texas Chili – I add Chicken just to round it out to three meats, and don’t bother farking around with the Chilis like these guys. Just chuck them in and be done
Ali Williams dumps George Gregan on his arse – Everyone can enjoy this. Only three weeks ’til Super 14 rugby, team. Sheee-yit, we’ve not even had SUMMER yet

Brett Lee, Bollywood Legend


Russell Brown points to Brett Lee’s Indian #4 hit.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c3CeAKdDPQ]
Once the intital hysterical laughter has faded, you realise he can ACTUALLY SING, and play guitar, and as far as sports stars’ pop efforts go, it’s not half bad (but not the best). He might be, well, a bit of a dick, but Lee got big points from me for choosing the White Stripes as his One Day Match ‘theme tune’, instead of Dire Straits or Level 42, like most other cricketers.

What’s next? David Boon with ZZ Top on “52 Beer Can Blues”? Shane Warne joining the Stones for “Satisfaction”? Glenn McGrath with NWA on “You bat like shit, mate”? The mind boggles.

Links on Friday (on Thursday)


Warney retrospective – some early wickets here
First 90 days – I’m starting a new job next week, and Rands, possibly the sharpest blogger in the world comes in with typically wise advice
What does 200 calories look like? – Worryingly, all my favourite stuff is at the bottom of this list, at the ‘really bad’ end. Peanut Butter! Bacon! M&Ms! Who knew?
B3ta image challenge – 2007 obituaries
Jason Kottke’s best links of 2006 – hours of holiday reading if you’ve run out of books already
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Why? Because you’re Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly… (Aussie band Smudge do an awesome version of this)

Links on Friday


Office Supplies Trebuchet – might as well do SOMETHING today before heading to the pub
Grammar Quiz – 100% for me, beat that!
Chainsaw wake up – Parenting at its best
The Wilhlem Scream – film geekery, move along
Project Manager Leaves Suicide PowerPoint Presentation – Har, scary thing is I can imagine it happening
www.mypetzombies.com – can’t not have a zombie link

Links on Friday


Breaking News:Today’s Spurs v Bucharest Uefa Cup goals are on this page (Needs Quicktime and a minute or two to load). Class goal from Berbatov, who can’t stop scoring at the moment. I love him.
Top 10 Matt Le Tissier goals. Should have come to Spurs and been the next Hoddle. Typically, he was hardly picked for England when they could have built a team around him.
UK Graffiti prankster Banksy hits New York’s museums.
My Aussie Cricket cartoon – don’t forget to re-size if it looks small and funny, like David Boon.
Har.
Star Trek Inspirational Posters. Beat procrastination with Kirky + the chaps.