What goes on tour

This October and early November just gone, I was in Bangladesh with the BLACKCAPS. My job at NZC is digital and communication advisor – mainly, I’m behind a laptop, so getting to go away with the team was a real honour and a thrill. Leaving NZ for almost five weeks was very exciting, but I had butterflies weeks out from leaving. It would be (by far) the longest period of time I’d spend apart from my partner and two young kids (I’d miss them awfully) and the first time I’d been to the subcontinent.

If you’ve travelled to this part of the world before you’ll laugh at me, but I had some serious culture shock. THE ROADS WERE INSANE. Travelling with a minder from Chittagong airport to the stadium along the river road on day two was more mind expanding than a night out with Keith Richards. I was trying to take in how everyone lives here, struggling to play it cool while buses, vans, cars, tuk-tuks, bikes, mopeds and rickshaws performed passable Michael Shumacher impressions around our van. If you wanted to train an athlete’s peripheral vision you could do worse than put them in a car in Bangladesh and get them to drive. I was glad to meet up with the team.

Bangladesh is hot. Chittagong was brutal at times with a dry heat, while Dhaka was humid, fuggy and energy-sapping. I soon understood why the team are followed around by chilly bins full of ice and water. Gordon Penney, the BLACKCAPS video analyst and I got out the baseball gloves and a ball at training one day and threw it around for about 15 minutes, and I was done – soaked in sweat and in need of air con. I’m (obviously) no athlete, but seeing how hard the guys train and play in the heat, and hearing tales of them losing 3-4kg during an innings, I got a small understanding. It impressed me no end how hard the substitute fielders work for the guys on the field in this weather, constantly ferrying drinks and gloves out to the middle, and around the ground to fine leg. They also put in some serious bowling practise and running during the innings break, which you don’t see on the telly.

During the matches I’d spend one session with the team while colleagues in NZ took the Twitter duties, then spend the rest of the time in the press box writing my match report and tweeting. With 160 million people in the country, there is a lot of media in Bangladesh – the press boxes were full, noisy and everyone was very friendly. I have to admit I was the ‘lone clapper’ in the press box a couple of times, when the guys got centuries or wickets. Unprofessional city (!).

The stadiums were amazing, dedicated cricket grounds with great facilities for the team and spectators. Often the media box was at the opposite end of the ground to the dressing room, so I’d trek around past the crowd. I’d have all my BLACKCAPS gear on and got quite a few cheers and waves, which took a bit of getting used to – again, everyone was very friendly. Fatullah, the venue for the third ODI, was PACKED and VERY NOISY, not to mention a little intimidating.

This tour was unusual in that after Chittagong, we stayed in Dhaka in the same hotel for almost a month, as the match in Sylhet was moved to Dhaka, normally the team moves around every few days. We’d travel to matches, training and everywhere on a team bus, with armed escorts front and rear. The hotels were great, and we were very well looked after by a group of minders. I got sick once, just fever and chills, for three days – but I managed to avoid going ‘full gastro’, which was what I was expecting.

Bangladesh was quite the experience – it goes without saying it’s a world away from home but again, we were well looked after by our minders and my opposite at Bangladesh Cricket, Rabeed Imam.  Leaving the tour, I felt like a bit of a lightweight – I was going home to the family, fair weather and flat whites, while the team went on to Sri Lanka, before coming home for the full home series and then on to Bangladesh again and the West Indies. Cricket means a long time on the road to say the least.

I was honoured to be (a small) part of the team, having breakfast, travelling on the bus, being in the team huddles before training, seeing how hard they work and hearing team talks in the dressing room. It helped me get to know the team and management, understand what we were trying to do and helped me do my job. Without labouring this, they are a fine group of guys and a credit to their country. Like I say, it was an honour.

Check out more photos at blackcaps.co.nz.

Here’s all the crap I used to do my job.

Photos – you can click on them to make them bigger:

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BLACKCAPS manager Mike Sandle hanging the NZ and NZC flags outside the dressing room in Chittagong, he does this before every match.

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(Some of the) Bangladesh press corp in Chittagong, with Cricinfo’s Mohammad Isam far right.

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Comforting to know.

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I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Ronald Cardwell in Chittagong – check out his website.

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Somewhat misguidedly, Hotel Agrabad in Chittagong wanted my autograph.

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At the end of each press conference, the done thing was for the TV cameras to turn around and film the press.

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Aktar (left) and Abul, our bag men. You couldn’t meet more dedicated and hardworking guys, they are legends among all teams that tour Bangladesh.

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The view from the bus of the motorcade out of Fatullah, with gun jeep in the centre.

Team New Zealand

Gratuitous team photo Test edition.

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Gratuitous team photo limited overs edition.

You spin me round like a GIF

Once, GIFs were simply jokey pictures on the internet, like so:

 

Now, the whole internet is GIFs. Which is great, because a GIF’s repetition allows you to appreciate the intricacies and combinations of skill that make up a goal, for example.

 

Or combining the action to highlight Things Like This, tough to do in any other medium:

 

It’s a new way of telling a story. It’s also a new and great way of making sportsmen look silly.

 

They’re also wonderful for making poetry from easily missed moments off-field, like crowd catches…

 

…on-field catches…

 

….people getting hit in the face…

 

…and Arsene Wenger having trouble operating a pocket competently.

 

There’s obviously room for the weird and wonderful. This is quite fantastic:

 

As is this. Sign him up.

 

And in case you ever wondered if Batman colour co-ordinates his boardies to his utility belt when surfing, now you know.

 

 

MCC fashion: Tremendous or Poor Show?

The Lord’s test has revived my love for the MCC members and their attire.

 
 David Shepherd – “Oi mate, you’re not getting in here without one of these.”

The Marylebone Cricket Club colours are a kind of orange-y red and a kind of mustard-y yellow, generally worn on a tie or a blazer on match days at Lord’s.

Despite belonging to one of the most traditionally rigid sporting bodies on the globe, deep down MCC members are non-conformists to a man (or a lady), chortling at the constraints of conventional fashion and incorporating the famous ‘bacon and egg’ colours into a galaxy of garments and accessories.

And so, sportreview.net.nz presents a review of the MCC’s most fashion forward accouterments – rated ‘Tremendous’ or ‘Poor Show’.

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Sometimes, you just have to go classic. Hat, tie, blazer. Daily Telegraph. Umbrella. Binoculars. Red pants. If this isn’t the first result when you Google Image Search ‘MCC Member’, it flipping well should be. Tremendous.


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This photo was taken during a T20 World Cup match between England and the Netherlands at Lord’s. If you’ve ever questioned the great institution’s willingness to move with the times, a couple of members photographed in full Hat / Tie / Blazer (HTB from now on) with facepaint and a pop singer should answer it pretty sharpish, mate. Tremendous.

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Bacon and egg gloves? No-one likes a clever dick. Poor Show.

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Lord’s photography 101 is a picture of the members queueing up and reading newspapers. This example nails it, AND takes it to the next level by featuring bacon and egg socks. I just like saying it. Bacon and egg socks. Tremendous.

 

Records reveal ‘Yo dog’ has never, ever been uttered in the Long Room. I’m going out on a limb and labeling these ‘unofficial’. Poor Show.

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Grand-daddy of the lot. Sure, I’ve got a cricket jumper sleeve on my head. What of it? Tremendous.

You wait for ages, then two podcasts come along at once

Two podcast related things.

1. I was on the New Zealand Digital Podcast with Paul Spain and Sim Ahmed, chatting about my role at NZC, and sportreview, among other things. You can listen to my episode in a variety of fashions here.

2. I submitted a ‘book nook’ entry to top cricket podcast, The BYC Podcast.

I reviewed The Art Of Captaincy by Mike Brearley, it went as follows:

You’ll love this book if you’re into tales of early 80s country cricket – it`s chocka with cracking dressing room quips by legendary players in damp knitwear waiting for the rain to stop and is reportedly one of Stephen Fleming’s big influences.

There’s straightforward and timeless advice on selection, field placement and batting orders – but it gets really interesting in the chapters on harnessing aggression and trying the unexpected. Brearley advocates underarm bowling in the right circumstances, a controversial stance in this country to say the least. There’s plenty on wrangling dressing room personalities, a possible pointer to Brearley’s post-cricket career as a psychologist,

Brearley played with and against some of the greats – Botham, Boycott, Greig, the Chappells and the dream West Indian pace attack are all used as examples. The contrasts between this era, when Boycott would open for England in limited overs matches, and today are fascinating.

Mike will be pleased to know there are lots of pictures.

9/10 – definitely made me feel more intelligent after reading.

Definitely listen to The BYC Podcast though, they made it loads better. And listen to it every week while you’re at it, it’s a must-listen chez moi.

Summer lovin’

A couple of photos from my first month on the job. You can click them to make them bigger.

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There’s no doubt the Basin Reserve is one of NZ’s loveliest sports grounds of any code. I was only there for day one of the test, but it was full and it was fantastic. Thoroughly enjoyed finally meeting Paul from the Beige Brigade and catching up with Graeme and friends. Looking forward to coming back.

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This was my view from the media box. For a cricket / sports writing geek, it was quite a thrill to be in there with guys I’d been reading for years from here and the UK and seeing how it all worked.

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The main reason I took this photo was so I test my ‘boundary’ accreditation. Ahem.

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There were definitely moments when I was turning up to go to work at Eden Park when I was all “I can’t believe I’m turning up to work at Eden Park!?!?!”

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My view of the end of day five. It was *quite* a day.

There’s a little more about the new thing on the NBR.

sportreview.net.nz update

Some news. In March, I am joining New Zealand Cricket as Digital and Comms Advisor, leaving my current role at Telecom*. Somehow I’ve managed to combine what I do professionally with one of my great pleasures and passions – I’m thrilled.

Common sense says everyone’s least favourite satirical NZ sport blog needs to change in some fashion, especially when it comes to cricket. I’m still figuring out how that’s all going to work.

Because this seems like a significant moment in the almost-ten year history of the site, I will recap. Readers will know that sportreview.net.nz was and is about about having fun, not being cruel**. Constructive, not scatter gun. Remember, sportreview.net.nz’s raison d’etre is this:

“We Kiwis support our sports people admirably, but take it all a bit seriously. I just want to inject a little humor. Relax, it won’t hurt a bit.”

I do this site simply for the enjoyment of writing it and to hopefully entertain you along the way. And so, dear readers, please bear with me while I find the right way to do this.

 

*And now, at last, I can start working on the satirical telecommunications blog I’ve been longing to do. I joke.

**Clive Woodward did cop it, in fairness. Let those without sin, etc.

Magical not-much-mystery tour

In Australia, the dossier on the South Africans has got a lot of coverage, after being carefully couriered leaked to an eager Aussie media. The document seems to mainly prescribe:

a. short pitched bowling, and

b. sledging

…which makes you wonder if the jandal-lickers’ tactics have moved on since the days of Ian Chappell etc. It’s as innovate as wandering into the Aussie’s dressng room and shouting ‘everyone grow a moustache!’. Still, it should be a fantastic series for cricket lovers bored with watching Sri Lankan groundsmen moving covers about.

 
 Picture included mainly because of ‘how awesome is this?’

The All Blacks have been on a full on Scottish social media assault, instagramming the locals and digitally tweeting themselves hoarse. Gone are the days when All Blacks like Meads, Lochore or Murdoch would turn up in the mother country to glower at the press and organise a big pub fight before boarding the plane having not actually said *anything* over the two months’ tour.

The All Blacks’ end of year tour has fallen into a fairy comfortable routine now, we either do the ‘warm up by smashing a couple of easy beats, before playing Wales then England’ or the grand slam, which is pretty much the same thing. Australia and South Africa do the same, which must be pretty depressing for the about-to-play-the-Six-Nations locals. Imagine if some guys turned up and smashed us for a month just before we played the Rugby Championship. More depressing than being Clive Woodward I’d imagine.

I’ll leave you with Rod Stewart crying, probably the best sporting thing that actually happened this week: