Category: youtube (page 1 of 17)

Links on Friday

So this is the kind-of return of Links on Friday - as long as you don’t expect links *every* Friday it’ll be sweet.

This is magic. Some guy creates one video game American football team that’s awesome and aggressive and puts it up against another video game American football team that’s feeble. Along the way he raises money for charity and makes some hil-ar-ious GIFS – but then something really freaky happens.

Some poor / heroic bugger has taken up the task of  going through the fabbo Alternative Commentary Collective archives and compiling some best-ofs. Here’s the first edition, get in there.

The mysterious Inky comes back with an email newsletter after about, oh, five years away. It’s a fabulous ramble through Ted, Steve H and All Black coaching cycles, dark hints about what he wants to say but can’t and somehow Hillary Clinton is mixed in there as well. Get on board.

BMX as conceptual art via

Sport from the future

According to the Usbourne Book Of The Future, the EPL over the internet thing is just the start – in a few short months, we’ll be enjoying sport like so:

This vision of the future promises an air of effortless sophistication, characterised by a robot butler serving drinks, fridge-sized headphones, just ONE remote control (preposterous) and, disturbingly, a houseguest monitoring your neighbours with a video camera.

The only thing that hasn’t changed in this scenario is sport itself – this is a 70s-style-eyebrows-and-sideburns game with disturbing-goings-on-in-the-background. No sign of goal line technology or isotonic drinks here.

So what will sport in the future be like? Popular culture dictates future sport is characterised by tight clothing  and space-age fonts (which we’re not too far off in fairness):


Future sport can also be retro, if you consider Running Man‘s relaxed atitude toward participants’ health and safety, which feels like a throw back to the have-a-go 70s:

 Could be a Stihl branding op there. 

With the rise, and then full scale takeover of modern TV programming by reality TV, the Running Man premise feels a lot less surreal and depressingly conceivable, and could easily take place weeknights at seven in the very near future.

Future football is a dystopian affair, taking place on a ship (presumably all the land and that fell into the sea years ago, and is probably Winston Peters’ fault), where former highly paid stars of the Champions League are forced to score goals for bread and survival, presided over by a clearly even-more-insane-than-usual Eric Cantona (that’s pretty insane). I’d buy a subscription to that, for sure.

Charmingly, future cricket appears remarkably similar to today, if a little more pastoral. Green grass, white clothing, wickets. No dramas. The only concessions to modernity appears to be the addition of a few new lines on the outfield, the use of six new balls (building on recent developments there), and players being confined to a box during play.


For now, the sport that seems like its been beamed-in from the future is arguably the All! New! America’s Cup.

 Oracle get fully extreme to starboard or something.

Once, the Cup had a charmingly shambolic vibe of sunburn, rum and mad scientists in back sheds devising super-kebab-ed keels or turbo bowsprits that would crush those dastardly Americans in their own back ocean. But Russell Coutts’ America’s Cup seems more X-Games than Newport, more Tron than Sailing Away. It’s a Simpsons-esque  attempt to modernise itself, and not one that’s captured the public’s imagination, beyond mouthing ‘fuck that’ while watching it on the sports news.

One possible path for future sport is where new, grassroots sports spring up, in a move away from the globalised path we’re on, like in Baseketball:

A possible Kiwi version of this would be BBQ-Melee, where contestants arm themselves with gas bottles and tongs, and chase each other through suburban backyards. The player with the most garages at the end of 14 days is declared the winner. It would be compelling viewing, as long as a passing game doesn’t requisition your satellite dish for a weapon.

But more likely, future sport is going to be about robots, whether it’s camel racing:



 ”The name’s Iron Mike.”


 This robot will not only out-surf you, but schmooze more girls at the beach than you.

…or ice hockey.


As this study shows, robots can already kick Rory McIlroy’s arse at golf, and probably chess too.

In any event, non-carbon based players could be a real game changer. Any robot All Blacks will have the mongrel calibrated to 11, be able to detect when they are off camera and commit atrocities on Australian robots at those precise times, and can be programmed not to go to Japan. says we should welcome our new robot overlords. Any future that has Alien taking on Predator at Swingball like a suburban idyll is one this website wants to live in.



There’s no question Socrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira was one of the *coolest* footballers ever to stroll onto a pitch. He died at the weekend, and being Brazilian, a thinker and a drinker, he’s right up the Guardian’s alley. They pushed the boat out to play tribute to the great man, with Richard Williams chipping in, exhaustive-world-cup-chronicler Brian Glanville writing the obituary and Gavin McOwen’s yarn about getting on the razz with him. There’s also a photo gallery.

Kiwis will remember this, a match from ‘our’ 1982 world cup. The blaring horns, the Tango ball, the overly colourised grainy footage, and those wonderful Brazilians (from when Brazil really were Brazil) that cheerfully humiliated the All Whites and Scotland, before going out to Italy. Socrates scored though – he even appears to run. Sorry Graeme!

One more goal.

Catching up – other stuff

Turns out other stuff has been happening that’s not rugby world cup related. Here’s a quick run down.

Sportsfreak has a petition going to keep domestic cricket on Radio Sport over the summer. It is your duty to support this fine initiative – one day, you’re not going to be able to put off painting that deck any longer. Do YOU want to listen to Des from Whanganui’s stream of conciousness talkback on why we should have lost the RWC while you do it? I farkin’ don’t. Support cricket, sign up.

“But don’t the writers write to the level of the fans? “Sports fans here are pretty well informed. I think they would appreciate a greater sense of journey being brought to describing sports events. They don’t start at two o’clock at kick-off. They start days beforehand.” – Tim Wilson on NZ sport writing via Quote Unquote

Long read from Wired about the new America’s Cup catamarans, and testing them on the Hauraki Gulf. Looks like the next regatta will be the yachting equivalent of playing T20 cricket on crystal meth, inside a Ferrari driven at high speed. Masochistically, I’ll kind of miss the maddeningly-slow tension build up, Dennis Conner and the lawyers.

The Premiership has gone goal crazy, with freak results every weekend – it’s going to be a great year, I look forward to Man City pulling off a Newcastle style collapse and Alex Fergusson finally exploding from stress, they look to be the obvious highlights. Meanwhile, seven Tottenham wins on the trot. I like it.

Shark pool!

Links on Friday (on Thursday)

Some guy takes LSD and tries to recreate Doc Ellis’ rumoured actual-LSD -no-hitter on a video game. Doc Ellis himself explains.

Subbuteo! It’s alive and kicking and is more than life or death to nerds everywhere – watch this guy win the Subbuteo world cup, then go all mental. Stick that up your XBox.

We’re smoking! Go easy to Paris! Wise words from Jens, via the Dropkicks.

Kenny Powers, K-Swiss CEO is farkin’ hilarious and a great example of viral sports-orientated marketing.

Links on Friday

If you’re a 38 year old unfit would-be footballer, and you ever get a chance to take a penalty at indoor or seven-a-side football, you are duty bound to perform a Panenka. Here are ten of the best, number one is my favorite

Turns our Floyd Landis of the Floyd Fairness Fund has not only turned into the Bear Queen Of The Forest (see image in the story) but is trolling Lance Armstrong on Twitter. The rotter

The seven annoying friends you meet at pub quizzes. I am none of these. I am basically the perfect person to have in a pub quiz team

Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

Why is U2 so popular?

Links on Friday

Totally wasted guy walks home. As awesome as it sounds.

If I was a suave Inter Milan supporting golfer, I’d totally wear these Nike Inter Milan Lunar Control Golf Shoes. I mean – LUNAR CONTROL? Who could resist?

Check this out for a sweet dismount – get in the hole!

ESPN sportsguy Bill Simmons has launched Grantland, his new sports writing site, featuring usual suspect Chuck Klosterman, among others. Would be handier with an RSS feed though.

Links on Friday – Jimmy Cowan

If you haven’t been to youtube and typed ‘Jimmy Cowan’ into the search box, you’re missing out on more comedy and violence than a Die Hard quadruple feature. The seemingly surly Southland scamp, when he’s not dishing it out like on this sneaky late hit on Jimmy Gopperth or smacking his own captain on the head, is getting it dished up to him by Bakkes fucking Botha in an alarming fashion.

Still, that doesn’t mean he’s not up for some fun, like kicking Dan Carter’s arse in a trick kicks competitiongetting Ma’a Nonu sent off for the laugh and having some harmless japes with the officials. Mind you, this is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Cheer up, Jimmy!


Take eight minutes to watch the story of Taupo’s Jed Milton landing the world’s first triple backflip on a BMX – fair play to him and his team for the planning, practise and production that went into the jump, and the Taupo District Council for letting him do it in a public park. Here’s a clip of just the jump.

Reading list

Lionel Messi gets the New York Times treatment. Wish Maradonna had read this.

Meanwhile, the New Yorker says let’s wait until Lance is proven guilty; from the same author, a long 2002 profile.

As a father of two under-three Waikato fans born on the North Shore, I know the importance of giving the offspring absolutely no choice in which team they support.

A 13 year old scores his own version of my favourite goal ever.

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