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In that case, you won’t mind if I offer the doctor my contrafibularities.

Nursey! I like it firm and fruity! Gives me something to hang on to! Woof!

I heard quite an amusing story myself the other day.

Drink is urine for the last leper in hell.

Best thing since the Beez. Johnny Rad would approve.

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This rally driver was doing great until he drives past some guy unable to keep his arse in his jeans. Features NSFW language in a badass Kiwi accent.

Footballers, learn from the great Totti – if you’re bothering to shave, get dressed and drive the Lambo to the ground, and if you want to foul someone, REALLY foul them. Don’t muck around.

The affectionate nickname for Marmite at the sportreview castle is ‘black death’. It’s horrible, team.

Are you a horse? It’s very motivating.

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Very similar to my own experience

via the monkey

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These sin-binned-hockey-player-taunting green men made me laugh a lot, especially when one pretends to cry (via @cam_mcmillan)

Poor Wayne Rooney, can’t even have a pint in peace

In alternate reality comes to life news, Maradonna tuns out for Tottenham. He’s no Steffan Freund.

Casual! Casual! Casual! He’ll regret that quite spectacular own goal, and that haircut

Shamefully, I texted a colleague today to acertain if the office Gooner was hurting more, less, or the same as when they lost to Barcelona. Every Tottenham fan gets funnier on days we beat Arsenal.

As Fergie says, it’s squeaky bum time, and even though our own squeaky bum involves finishing fourth, not first, I’ll take the win, especially if it’s kicked off with a strike like this. Not bad for Rose’s first premiership start.

VIDEO: The embedded goal video keeps getting taken down – you’re going to have to go search youtube yourself.

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From the Guardian’s ‘Joy of six – dinks lobs and chips‘ feature – Panenka’s European Championship winning penalty.

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Because Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley, we feature Super Tottenham’s greatest musical moments eva.

Ossie’s Dream features a bewildered Argentinian trying to say Tottenham and failing at 1′55″

Glen n Chris channel Crockett n Tubbs. Badly.

Paul Gasgoine puts on the world’s dodgiest shell suit, rides about on a boat and winds up in the Bigg Market. All to sing a truely appalling song. These guys must be gutted.

Bonus – Gazza gives the best post match interview ever, not long after he did this.

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