The gravel in your sporting ice cream.
Didier Drogba: Yeaaaaaaaaaaah! Roman: Greetings. We have not spoken for some time, but I have not been idle. No, I work hard to realise my vision of a world where my enemies pray for the swift, merciful death a chainsaw brings. Didier Drogba: Number ONE baby, yeah! Roman: This man Scolari disappointed me deeply. I … Continue reading “Roman Abramovich checks in”
In December even a cruel, ruthless Russian overlord’s mind turns to seasonal merriment. We Abramovichs celebrate Christmas like all of you. Only this morning I hunted reindeer from my chopper with agent orange, and on Christmas eve we’ll enjoy dwarfs re-enacting the film ‘300’ in the drawing room to peals of children’s laughter.It’s a time … Continue reading “Roman Abramovich wishes you merry Xmas”
Chelsea chairman Roman Abramovich is a man of ominous, brooding, dark, dark mystery. Here’s his responses to children’s letters to Chelsea’s official fan’s magazine. Dear Chelsea magazine – My favourite colour is blue. I can’t wait for the football to start again, and when I’m big enough I want to play for Chelsea. I like … Continue reading “Roman Abramovich writes to young Chelsea fans”
We asked Chelsea FC chairman Roman Abramovich for some of his highlights of the Premiership season 2006/7.Game of the seasonDawn. Another day on this cursed earth. Another day closer to revenge. Player of the seasonMy legions in the sewers, hold your positions. I know it’s damp and smelly, but fear not, this Christmas you’ll each … Continue reading “Roman Abramovich – season roundup”
What’s happening in this picture? a) Chelsea FC Chairman Roman Abramovich celebrates his team’s progress to the FA Cup final with a late, late, winner against Blackburn on Sunday? b) Russian Oil magnate Roman Abramovich checks out the crude oil prices? c) Zombie overlord Roman Abramovich receives word his rouge scientist working feverishly in a … Continue reading “Abramovich quiz”
Check out this photo of Chelsea FC’s sugar daddy Roman Abramovich at his first wedding – I reckon he’s a werewolf, eh. That would explain a lot. UPDATE: Holy. Shit. The shaved werewolf might have fooled (and possibly devoured) one unfortunate Russian bride, but now he’s going out with a Zombie! Check out that brain-hungry … Continue reading “Abramovich: Werewolf”
Ken Bates *Watching football* Woman in the middle *Watching football, slightly distracted by schoolgirl-ish giggling on her left, feels cold and her knuckles are white from clutching handrail – not quite sure why* Roman Abaramovich *Thinking about tonight, when under the cover of darkness he’ll hide behind trees in Hyde Park and leap out screaming … Continue reading “What’s Roman thinking?”
Or do I? Abramovich may be football’s version of a fairy godmother, but how would you feel if your team was cast as the bad guy against Barcelona – a team that plays outstanding attacking football? I’d almost support Barca over my own team. Chelsea will win the league, but they’re doing it in such … Continue reading “I still kind of want a Russian billionaire for Spurs”