Links on Friday

– Pulp Sports’ The Butcher Sopranos parody – what was the Sopranos finale all about? Did he die or what? My heart was going like anything…
– Ronny Rosenthal misses a sitter – and what a sitter. Luckily, he did it for the bin dippers, and not Spurs
– The most rockin song of all time – is Credences’ ‘Ramble Tamble’ apparently. And it’s pretty bloody good. I’ve got a soft spot for ‘Keep your hands to yourself’ by Georgia Satellites myself. Or the Ramones’ ‘Rockaway Beach’
– Urban planner clearly depressed when she came up with street names – Har

IRB clamps down on backline ‘jiggery-pokery’

SRNZPA: IRB top brass moved moved swiftly to stamp down on the early RWC backline flair and skill, fast-tracking new laws that ban flair altogether. “Rugby Union is scrums, dropgoals, stern reprimands from the ref and dirty songs on the bus ride home” said IRB chairman Dr Syd Millar. “This backline jiggery-pokery belongs in the 70’s. It’s as unacceptable in this day and age as wearing sideboards down to your jaw, or being Welsh.”

Extra emergency law 6.09, paragraph 3, which comes into effect immediately, reads: ‘Ball emerging from scrum, line out or ruck must be A. kicked out or B. proceed in an orderly manner from fly half to inside centre, outside centre, then possibly a winger, in that order. The full back must not get involved under any circumstance.’

“Referees will be on the lookout for side steps, wipers kicks, or forwards carrying the ball further than 5 metres” said RWC head referee Paddy O’Brain. “For example, Jerry Collins’ chip ahead against Italy would have earned him ten in the bin, not five points.”

William O’Shanter of the Morning Empire welcomed the IRB’s bold move. “You didn’t see England 2003 fart-arseing about with cut out passes, double arounds or dummy runners, did you? The Twickenham faithful simply won’t stand for bloody colonials running around our chaps. They must enter the fray and let the claret flow. Or something.”

New Zealand Rugby analyst Stu Wilson was quick to wade into the the debate, saying “Well fark. Ireland. The Irish. Big drinkers. Big, big drinkers. Don’t tell me about Dublin pubs. I know, mate. Shiiiiiiiiit. ’78 grand slam tour. Say no more. What was the question again?”

MacKay hails first nose clearance of Rugby World Cup 2007

SRNZPA: Having hailed the first lineout, scrum, points, penalty and knock-on of Rugby World Cup 2007, popular TV3 ‘Rugby’ ‘Editor’ Hamish MacKay was quick to salute the 23rd minute snot torrent produced by Argentinian loose-head prop Rodrigo Roncero in Friday’s tournament opener:

“Well hello sailor! The big man’s stepped up to the plate and blown one right out of the park! Watch the replay Grant Fox… one nostril… now two… He’s electrified this big crowd with a bit of the old nozzle-razzle-dazzle. You played with some of the great snot-showmen over the years Foxy, in fact we’ve got one sitting to the left now, AJ Whetton…” This was followed by a prolonged period of dead air with barely audible muffled thuds.

That f%*#@! guy


For years, we’ve wondered “Who’s that f%$&*@!* dork waving behind David Kirk at the ’87 World Cup?” Campbell Live tracked him down last night – turns out he’s an injured US Rugby player who was busy sponging off the Whetton twins and their Mum for the duration of the tournament, eating them out of house and home no doubt. He’s quite a laugh, though, and has this for those sick of seeing him: “All you have to do is win another World Cup, and you’ll never see me again!”. Har, fair enough I suppose.

Links on Friday – Shield challenge special

Here’s some Hamilton hyperlinks for yers to celebrate the big shield challenge tomorrow night. I’ll be there, can’t wait
– Waikato’s Sione Luaki hands off Richie McCaw – wow. He throws the All Black captain and best player in the world around like he’s a wussy smart arse blogger or something (thanks, Rugby Dump)
– Hamilton rock – if you’ve ever been to Zak’s, or seen Knightshade in action, you know how hard the ‘tron ROCKs. Here’s what I’m talking about (thanks, Spare Room)
– Highlights of Waikato v North Harbour – the smash n grab run to the shore
– The McKay family – har – but is it for real?

Red faces all round as cylinder contains body parts, not turf


SRNZPA: There were red faces at the All Blacks’ farewell at Auckland Airport last night. The team was presented a cylinder supposedly filled with turf cuttings from all 1071 of their predecessors home grounds. But when the container was opened, it was discovered to actually contain cuttings of the 1071 All Blacks themselves.

“Ohhhhhhhhh, that makes a bit more sense” said Adidas Cylinder Ambassador Peter Harvey-Withers. “That fax DID get a bit smudged, but I never double checked. I got some funny looks going into all those cemeteries with a shovel and saw, let me tell you. What a turn-up, eh?”.

All Blacks’ girlfriends now allowed in rooms for ‘nookie only’

SRNZPA: All Black management has softened their hard line stance on the All Black wives’ and girlfriends’ access to the players’ rooms. “Partners can visit rooms for nookie only” said Steve Hansen. “That’s it, though. Once the show’s over, they’ve gotta go straightaway. Darren Shand will be strictly monitoring this area”.

All Black management is concerned partners’ demands for attention and cuddles or reports on that day’s shopping could jeopardise chances of bringing home the World Cup for the first time since 1987. “No man wants to hear about cute shoes or stunning cafe au laits, that’s just brutal” said Hansen.

A member of the touring party, who did not wish to be identified, described the policy as “bloody sweet”, adding “This is better than home – you can make the sweet, sweet love and get back to playing Xbox straight away. I wish it could be the World Cup all year ’round”.