Author: Richard Irvine

Now we’re getting somewhere

Australia vs New Zealand ODI @ the WACA
– We got stuffed in the field, if I had a dollar for every time they showed Dan Vettori looking sick after dropping Hayden, I’d have 126 bucks
– Having said that, we actually hauled them back just a little from an insurmountable total – with 12 overs to go I thought they’d get 400
– In that heat Ponting and Hayden really showed some fight and class to graft out their hundreds
– Great to have Lou Vincent back, he did a great job (save those too-*@!#-cute-by-half reverse sweeps), and might have steered us to a win if he wasn’t given out LBW off his gloves. Calling Symonds a wanker and doing the tugger sign was a touch of class too, hilariously prompting dead air from everyone’s favorite commentary team
– Oram was phenomenal – I feel a lot better about our World Cup chances with him in the team
– McCullum showed his great technique to patiently score singles and give Oram the strike, before wading into some boundary-hitting himself. Hey Braces – HE’S NOT AN OPENER!
– Every time Oram hit a six into the WACA’s hill, a pissed gaggle of inbreds and their fat children looking fresh from a gig as Peter Jackson extras started killing each other for the ball – a really scary insight there
– I loved seeing McGrath getting smashed into the stands a couple of times, not to mention when he dropped Oram while turning in circles like a drunk dog chasing its tail. I know it’s sad and not very sporting, but basically, my idea of fun is anything slightly unfortunate happening to Glenn McGrath
– We really need to build on this and push on – we should be able to do the Poms comfortably now, and we’ll still have (at least) three more games against the Aussies, making a pretty fair build up to the World Cup
– With Styris and Bond to come back, and with everyone fit and well, our first team goes like this:
Vincent
Fleming
Fulton
Taylor
Styris
Oram
McCullum
Vettori
Mills
Gillespie
Bond
with Patel, Franklin and Macca as back up – we’re not looking too bad all of a sudden

Bonus football link – How good is Wayne Rooney?

Links on Friday

– Ireland vs Australia Compromise Rules – Paddies and Ockers have loads in common, like a deep love of gambling, wit/swearing, binge drinking – and sport nobody else plays, ie Gaelic Football and Australian Rules. Enter Compromise Rules, an excuse for a scrap thinly disguised as a sporting event
– ‘The Look’ – Lance Armstrong gives Jan Ullrich the beat down in the Alps, 2001
– Kiwi Blokes – click on the Chainsaw for everything bloke-like. Actually, the fact you’re sat at a computer, and not out drive-by deer hunting in the Holden, means none of this applies
– Consumption photos – this is pretty freaky
– Zinadine’s European Cup winning volley vs Bayer Leverkusen – I miss that Spock-like nutter already
– How to get traffic for your blog – and there I was relying on the power of stupidity and laziness…

Thoughts on New Zealand v England ODI

– Now we’ve got Oram to score all the runs and that, the Black Caps’ batting is looking heaps better. It make me bloody nervous when they start reverse sweeping though, there must be some kind of bet on
– Can a batsman above 6 hit some form? If only ONE guy was scoring 80s, we’d be getting pretty decent scores. I’d like to see us play in the V and push singles BEFORE trying the big shots, though
– England started their run chase like they were playing for a draw, AGAIN. Fletcher needs to bin the beta blockers, now
– I thought Gillespie had broken his neck taking that catch – he landed like like a drunk at a BBQ falling off a deck
– Should we be offended Australia chose to thrash England on Australia Day instead of us?
– Great to have a win, and now we’re ahead of England with a bonus point. Hands up if you EVEN KNEW there was a bonus point system?
– Update: Now Martin Sneddon’s over there to ‘demonstrate support’. If the players are unhappy with each other, I can’t pick it (from my position on the couch, of course). If they’re unhappy with the coach… Still, Braces should have handled himself better – time to sack Grizz Wylie as media coach, I say

Weekend roundup

Australia – NZ at the SCG
Yes, I KNEW it was late Sunday night, the Aussies were too good not to chase down 219, that it’s only one game of a long series, tomorrow’s Monday and I could use the extra sleep, but still I sat glued to the couch ’til the bitter (bitter) end. We messed this one up no question, as the 30 something replays of Franklin dropping Clarke in super-slow-mo, extreme close up, heat spot-cam and even pissed-on-23-cans-of-XXXX-O-vision confirmed. Even more damaging was the botched run out of the amazing Hussey, the most dangerous Australian batsman right now. I don’t want to become the 4529th person to say “Where are our runs from the top order?”, but… actually, yeah, where ARE our runs from the top order? We’re not giving our bowlers, who have got quite good at turd polishing lately, any chance whatsoever. Watching our last two games has been like watching your DVD of The Office for the upteenth time – you’ve seen it a million times before, you’re cringing like anything, and you already know what’ll happen at the end.

Premiership
Wow. The Scousers beat Harlequins Chelsea, exposing their defensive shit-ness without John Terry for all to see and laugh at, and then feckin’ Arsenal went and beat Man Utd, pissing in the beer of those wanting Anyone But Chelsea to win it. It’s going to be interesting, team. Spurs managed not to lose at Fulham, which was nice. Ish.

TV
It’s a magic time for fans of watching floodlight sport from Australia late into the night, with the Commonwealth Bank series competing with the Australian Open tennis for screen time. The shots of Sydney’s sunset over the SCG during last nights’ game were spectacular.

Links on Friday

– First pictures of Top Gear’s Richard Hammond crashing – Glad he made it out OK. Top Gear is the BBC’s car show that, in the words of host Jeremy Clarkson, “…features three middle-aged men who are actually nine years old.”
– Classic 80s Games online – This is fairly extensive. Bonus link: C64 games. Go nuts
– Album covers battle – A whole lot of ALBUM (remember those, iPod weenies?) covers battle it out. Scarily clever, see how many you recognise from flipping through the bargin bins
– List of Films by gory death scene – Cross referenced by dismemberment, beheading, etc. What DID we do without the Internets, eh?
– Cullen v. Scotland – Fark he was good
– George Meyer interview – the guy who made The Simpsons funny

Bloody proud to be a Kiwi today


Ever since Peter Jackson got famous and started going to the Oscars and that, there’s a huge void in New Zealand’s splatter/gore/farm animal film canon he pioneered (here’s the stupidest / best bit in PJ’s Bad Taste). Bollocks to fashion or auction websites, Sheep are still the blimmin’ backbone of this country, so I teared up just a little when watching the trailer for upcoming NZ film Black Sheep.

Most NZers have deep, dark issues with these moronic woolly creatures, especially people growing up in rural areas that ate their pet lambs – so seeing our film makers come up with twisted shit like this is hardly surprising. Black Sheep comes out in late March here in New Zealand. Here’s the youtubed trailer:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-l93gltkCc]

It hurts

Thoughts on this evening’s defeat to England:
– Following a Black Caps top order collapse on CricInfo is much less fun than watching on the box (if you find that sort of thing fun, that is)
– Styris got 80 odd in a domestic match today – let’s get him on a plane, quick smart
– What were England DOING when they batted? They dwardled along like 11 Geoff Boycotts, it was more boring than ten man rugby from the 80s. If we’d had a little luck and got Flintoff out any earlier we’d have probably nicked it
– Flintoff is obsessed with punching gloves with his batting partner – one of England’s tailenders wasn’t expecting it when he came to the crease, and just about got a cock-punch
– Without Bond, our go-to tactic is still the slow-medium dobbers – twelve years ago it was Latham and Harris, now it’s Astle and specialist bowler Craig McMillian (who in fairness did a great job tying England down at the death)
– Tony Greig’s shameless cheering for the Poms is beyond a joke – if Sky Digital had an option to mute individual commentators, and have them replaced them with nails scraping a blackboard, I’d cheerfully pay double my subscription (Stu Wilson, you’d be next on my list, Bucko)
– Cricinfo’s headline right now is ‘Flintoff edges England in thriller’ – is that in a kind of Michael Jackson sense of ‘Thriller’?
– Scary thing is, England aren’t all that flash a side, and we stil lost. Did you spot anything to worry the Aussies?
– More depressing than the actual game was tuning into Radio Sport on the way to the video shop post-match, with one caller asking if Shane Bond actually had a migraine (back strain?), or just didn’t feel like playing. The horror…

Flashback – FICA World XI match

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FICA World XI match, originally uploaded by richirvine73.

For those despairing of the Black Caps’ woes – here’s a scene from the Tsunami relief matches, when we had firepower like Jeff Wilson in the team, and Flem could set fields like this.

I’d take Greg Sommerville at this stage.