The gravel in your sporting ice cream.
And now, sportreview presents volume two of the sportreview podcast. A weekly podcast.
This week – we pod. Cast. Podcast live from Eden Park.
Mega plays, massive names, sport, highlights, all in your sportreview weekly podcast.
Download: sportreviewnetnz-podcast-vol2-260209
(1.5MB download / 1’20” duration)
sportreview.net.nz presents volume one of our weekly podcast.
If you’re looking for huge names, results, plays of the month, Cricket, sport, you’ll find it on the sportreview podcast. A weekly podcast.
If it’s sport, it’s on the sportreview podcast.
Download:sportreviewnetnz podcast vol1 210209
(1.6MB download / 1’20” duration)
SRPA: Ricky Ponting revealed he worked on his sandy-speedos press conference technique while rested from captaincy duties. A testing fixture list and a team that’s a bit shit means he’ll spend much of the next 12 months bristling at the media. “Preparation is everything – I could’ve spent the time arranging me tapes in the glove box, but I wanted to put the time in getting narky.”
ACB media training consultant Hugh Brantingham-Eton said “Even a champion like Ricky has to work on their game. I mean, he went out of his way to take offence at the Vettori / Haddin comments like a thoroughbred shitting on their trainer, but we still see areas for improvement.”
Scenario-based training tested Ponting’s self-importance and general fuck-knucklery in a variety of situations, like post match interviews, and walking through airports looking cross. “We worked on slagging groundsmen, whinging about match referees, blaming batting failures on car-parking issues and having a face like a smacked arse.” said Brantingham-Eton. “But we had fun, too, some afternoons we’d throw sausage rolls at journalist-shaped targets, just to let off steam.”
Ponting is confident the extra training will keep him sharp: “It was back to basics. Sometimes all you need is ‘What the fuck did you just say?’, ‘What the fuck does that mean?’ and ‘I’m Ricky fucking Ponting, who the fuck are you?’, then a walk out. You can over-think this stuff.” said Ponting.
Just when you thought Britannia was cool – possibly NSFW (sex, violence, bad taste).
Yet another reason why I’ll never understand American Football – I could imagine Steve Walsh doing this.
You don’t want to play too much football there.
I got a press release from L&P’s PR agency today on their upcoming BYC cricket tournament. PR’s easy, it works like this:
Unfortunately, sportreview.net.nz’s policy is that L&P needs to eat a bag of dicks for the way they treated top blokes The Beige Brigade last year. Here’s an excerpt from the email the Ad Agency sent The Brigade when they tried to get behind last year’s tournament:
“We kinda see the Beige Brigade as high profile funny guys where as L&P is always the backseat funny guy, finding humour in little kiwi truths and not really making a fuss. We…don’t feel the fit is quite right for L&P, strategically.”
‘Kinda’. That’s awesome. This is how it’s going to go on my site:
L&P has been going to the tired 70s / 80s Kiwiana well for a while now. They used to be good, but the current ads make drinking L&P seem as appealing as feeding my nuts through the electronic whiteboard. Dressing no-marks in headbands and trackies would have a lot more impact if every other hipster on K Road wasn’t dressed like that these days. The campaign’s posters stars aren’t Kiwi lads who love a game of cricket and an L&P to cool off while effortlessly embodying the brand values of being quirky, down to earth, lovable, and a dufus. They’re dicks. Exhibits A through C:
I was going out of my way to get annoyed now. The campaign’s shitty flash-based website is a content-lite shambles, a Trojan horse for lengthy terms and conditions that crashes Firefox, and leaves no Kiwiana stone unturned to flog you sugary water:
Gag me with a jandal – they’re raping buzzy bees here. For crimes against Cricket and New Zealand generally, sportreview.net.nz says no to L&P’s ad campaign, and no to unsolicited press releases. I like to drink L&P with fish and chips as much as the next man, and the BYC tournament itself is a great idea – I’m sure those that play will have a great time – but the patronising and annoying ad campaign, website and PR has to go, team.
David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd, the Lancashire batsman, umpire, coach and pundit has an amiable, relaxed style and regularly comes up with *gems*, like ‘the fridge has opened, he’s flown like a gazelle!‘ in his broad Wallace and Grommit accent. As promised on Hadyn’s Field Theory, here’s more Bumble:
Spotting a stray heat spot
Pitch report from ‘Lords’. Listen for the dubious groundsman name
Utter gibberish. Catford?
The best one, though, is when someone nicks his lawnmower. I wouldn’t want to meet his George.
John Updike died today. As well as being a literary athlete, he was a keen amateur golfer:
“Indeed, few sights are more odious on the golf course than a sauntering, beered-up foursome obviously having a good time. Some golfers, we are told, enjoy the landscape; but properly the landscape shrivels and compresses into the grim, surrealistically vivid patch of grass directly under the golfer’s eyes as he morosely walks toward where he thinks his ball might be.”
Chuck Klosterman interviews Michelle Obama’s brother, a basketball coach.
“When I played basketball with Barack, he was quietly confident, which means he had good self-esteem without being cocky. He was certainly a team player — he wasn’t a pig, he passed when he was supposed to pass, and he cut when he was supposed to cut. To me, that speaks to a lack of selfishness. He had natural leadership ability, because he didn’t just pass me the ball because he was dating my sister.”