Black Caps’ coach John Bracewell was in a defiant mood today, telling a post match press conference South Africa would have to do better than utterly crush the Black Caps by 358 runs to truly humiliate them. “We’ve been humiliated by some of the greats – Australia, the West Indies, Pakistan… you really have to take us to bits until we’re rocking back and forth on the shower floor, shivering ‘cos the water went cold three days ago to be considered a great team. South Africa still have work ahead of them to join that club”.
According to Bracewell, the Proteas’ unopposed romp through the Kiwi top order does not mark this humiliation out as anything special. “It’s been done. Steyn’s ten wickets is a point of interest but compare that with bowling us out for 26 – which one sticks in the memory? You need to improve the balance with the batting – Inzamam scored more runs on his own in 2002 than our whole team, for example. They’d want to destroy one of the youngsters’ sprit to the extent they give up the game completely, for example.”
Bracewell says South Africa’s attempt to improve on this attempted humiliation will create interest in the rest of the series. “We’ll have more guys out injured and be reeling after an evening of clear-the-air-bonding turns into protracted drunken recriminations. With my job hanging by the thinnest of threads, it’ll be up to South Africa to really get the foot on the throat and join the ranks of the great Black Caps humilators. It depends how much they want it.”
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The best sporting interview ever – Martin Brundle with Kimi Raikkonen. Jerry Collins would’ve just done it on the grid
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Kevin Pieterson reverse sweeps Murali for six – says it all really – what a blow
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Wired’s saddest cubicle competition ‘winners’ – makes my paper-and-dirty-dishes covered mess look like a little slice of heaven. It’s still bloody scary turning my keyboard upside down, though
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Friday 13th through the years – I’ve not seen much after about #5. Actually all my Friday 13th experiences have been on VHS, I think
5. ‘Smashing paper mache effigies of netball players that may or may not be Australian, but mostly are. Dirty Aussies.’ treasure hunt
4. ‘Carrying a nation’s hopes and dreams in an empty Cricket, America’s Cup and Rugby trophy cabinet world of postmortems, blame-laying and relentless shit flinging’ quilting
3. ‘Appearing natural while leaning on whiteware in your trackies and laughing, throwing your head back in a sexy-but-not-too-sexy kinda way’ powerwalk
2. ‘These people paid $500 each to watch you. Each. $500. Dollars.’ falling backwards off a table into team mates’ arms
1. ‘….and don’t even THINK about not making the final, Miss’ Tennis
Sorry, team – blog motivation is low at the moment. I’ve got a good mind to get my other one going again… –
The best 5-a-side goal ever – bloody hell, that’s some skill. The ‘keeper has no idea whatsoever, and looks like Mike Gatting facing
the ball of the century–
Chuck Klosterman on the NBA – not my favorite sport, but one of my favourite writers
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Hostel’s Eli Roth’s 24 hours of Horror – does anyone want to do this?
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That One Bob Guy And Why He Can Go Fuck Himself – I love this
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the Flight of the Concords tonight” said Mayor Prendergast from the wreckage.
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Fido trailer – a Zombie in every home. WHEN does this come out in NZ?
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Denis Leary gives Mel Gibson a verbal beatdown – nice. Poor old Mad Max, first the Malibu mansion, now this
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The prince of own goals – This is magic.
This is still my favourite own goal ever, though, just ‘cos it’s Arsenal, and a member of George Graham’s back four.
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Ryan Giggs, 7 gives his first TV interview – his media minder is Alex Ferguson, 16
For the last four years (thanks, George) we’ve anticipated being World Champions. Now I feel like I’m ten again, and after running to check if my advanced Dungeon Master’s Guide has finally arrived, finding the postman cheerfully having a dump in the post box.Graeme Hill has a brilliant quote in the latest issue of Real Groove magazine: “Sport is as good a canvas as any for great drama to emerge”. Not sure if it’s his, but we saw that in spades in France (and feckin Cardiff, for that matter). England struggling manfully with their own limitations. South Africa going about the business of winning the damned thing with no nonsense. Argentina and France agreeing to forget about Rugby for a while and just kicking shit out of each other for a while. It was all brilliant. But if I’m honest, I was too bitter to enjoy it properly.
Now it’s all over, what’s left? Cricket? Tottenham *hollow laugh* ? The next Tri Nations? 2011? We’ve entered one of those natural lulls in the sporting calendar, and it all feels a bit flat. Hey, I was planning on being still drunk from the World Cup celebration right now. I’m seeking diversion on Facebook, but it’s not really the same, it it? Normal sport review nz service and stupidity to resume shortly.
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The Back Up – Yes, this would be great for a boring old home invasion, but in the event of an infestation of reanimated corpses… THAT’s when this little beauty would come into its own
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Here’s the video of that guy speeding through Paris in a Ferrari 275 – Wicked. As always,
Wikipedia has the full story–
Modern day Cannonball Run – they’ve got a lot more gadgets and a lot less moustache than ol’ Burt and the gang
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Zombo.com – shut down the internet, NO site is going to top this one (needs sound)
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1700 Guests arrive at Hotel / Greeted in foyer / Welcome nibbles, champagne, beer, wine served
1702 Was that Stu Wilson pan handling outside?
1723 Fuck this, is there any scotch?
1724 Doug Howlett cut off from further alcohol
1755 Guests ushered to ballroom by nervous staff. That floor has only just been resurfaced, do you realise?
1800 Pre speech ‘energisers’ with Darren Shand
1804 First bread roll thrown
1805 Speech: “Reminiscing – bonded brothers bleeding on the battlefield” with Anton Oliver
1807 First fork thrown
2030 Speech: “I was wrong, very wrong, where I went wrong, Oh how I loathe the very ground I walk on everyday” – self flagellation and spiritual cleansing session with top referee Wayne Barnes
2200 Jordan Luck takes the stage
2218 Aaron Mauger’s wife injured while loitering in Jordan Luck’s path to the lavatory
2245 Is that stores? Get me another case of Johnny Walker, NOW! What? Get down to LiquorLand in a cab, then! For the love of god..
2305 You’re me best mate. You fucker.
0012 Searching for a cab, racked with sobs
