Eden Park ill-prepared for large crowds of people

NEWSDESK: The unrest at Saturday evening’s twin Rugby League  internationals highlighted Eden Park’s unsuitability for hosting large groups of people observing sporting events. “Our re-development was designed with Auckland NPC matches, test cricket or ACT party rallies in mind. We’re talking 12 or 13 people, max,” said Steve Commodore-Lease, a spokesman for Eden Park. “Next thing we know, there’s farkin thousands of League fans showing  up on Saturday night. Lucky we’d installed, like, seats in those big buildings.”

Eden Park’s research tells them they could be placed in a similar situation for the ‘Rugby World Cup’, to held in 2011. “We knew something was up when they started building a train station next door, we were all ‘Waaaaait a minute.’ We’ll compare notes with Christchurch’s AMI Stadium, they’re  hugely experienced in hosting unpopular sporting events,” said Mr Commodore-Lease.

Beautiful flux

A McSweeney’s review of Tony Hawk’s book contains this neat little passage:

Note: Starting in the early eighties, Hawk dominated ramp skating in ways that would be literally impossible to overemphasize. I’m not merely talking about his success in contests, although until he retired in 1999 he was all-but unbeatable, but rather I’m referring to the extent that his innovation and abilities consistently eclipsed those of his peers. To watch him skate was, and to a degree still is, to gaze into a widening chasm between skateboarding’s present and past. Whenever he dropped in on a ramp, the accepted boundaries of the sport were in a thrilling, beautiful flux.