G’day my main mate.

Did you hear? 18 teams in the Super 14. No bull-pucky. You gotta hand it to the Rugby Union - there’s nothing can’t be made better with more teams and more games. Eh. That total entertainment package just got WAY more sick.

I mean, take the Super 12. I loved it. I LOVED IT! But a man soon got to thinking if, say, the Hurricanes could beat Perth. At Rugby. Or, how New South Wales would handle a composite team drawing its players from the Free State and Northern Cape Provinces. And whaddayaknow, SANZAR came to the party. Me and my buddies settled a few bets, lemme tell ya.

And the Tri-Nations? More games means more EXTREME. Yeah! Mate.

Look at Baseball, that’s like, 160 games a year. You could have a Super 160. Imagine the Hastings Razorbacks’ rush defence facing off with the Tamworth Rhinestones’ back row. Woah. Mate. Rugby Union in your face once again.

Back at the dorm, Elder Barry says a Super 18 is a poke in the eye of all right thinking Rugby fans, possibly the most moronic move ever, and it makes him want to start watching ‘poofball’, whatever that is.

I say - gimme five! Or gimme 18, if that was anatomically possible. Eh.

Did you catch the big cricket games in the weekend, amigo? Lemme tell ya - I sucked back a few Banana Primos watching that one.

Matthew Hayden? The Aussie’s lead off guy? His hitting was SICK! In the time out I was all “there’s no way these Kiwis are coming back” man, they are lower than a punctured bike tyre, and but I was so wrong. I hadn’t been that excited since the last America’s Cup. Wait. No, I wasn’t excited about that. That sucked. Dang.

Craig MacMillian? He was TOTALLY in my face. Eh. How many homers did that guy hit? BAM! And Shane Bond, man, when he comes in with his fast ball me and the fellas at the dorm were too psyched. We we rockin’ man, you should have been there - Elder Zach had to come down to our room and at first he was all “You guys simmer down”, and we were all “No way Jose, this game’s going right to the bottom of the ninth, you gotta get down with the Cricket” and he was all like “Whoah - these Kiwis are kicking some SERIOUS hiney” and soon he was chugging on Banana Primos like he was one of the guys. We still took a lickin’ the next morning, but we were high on cricket, dude. And God.

Man, I can’t wait to tell the guys back in Salt Lake City about cricket, they show it on ESPN 5. Baseball? No-one’s gonna care dude, I’m a total wicket head now, I swear. Eh.