| So – the Crusaders are the only NZ team in the Super 14 semi finals, and having to make the long flight to the Republic for the second time in only a couple of weeks. There’s no doubt we’re playing second fiddle to the rainbow nation at the moment, and the old allegation of South African players being on steroids is starting to sound stale and old. |
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A couple of Springbok locks enjoy a ‘recovery session’. |
| Handily, sportreview.net.nz can now reveal the secret behind the success – an obviously insane national coach. Peter de Villiers has worked wonders with the team, despite being madder than a cut snake milkshake served in a gumboot. It’s no co-incidence that John Mitchell was one of our most successful recent coaches, even though he spoke like a photocopier error message. |
| So what are our options? If we can’t compete with the Boks on the field, surely we can compete in the insanity arena? We are a little nation at the end of the earth with a long proud tradition of being fucking nutso, surely we can find ONE – let’s run through our options. |
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| Winston Peters
Pros – looks good in a suit; team player; imagine when Winston marches in to a press conference, starts ranting about the ‘facts of the matter’ and making assertions about Stephen Jones’ willie under his lifetime parliamentary privilege entitlement. Cons – unpredictable; litigious; would probably try and form a coalition with the Boks; looks like the kind of bloke who’d enjoy charging RWC 2011 visitors $1400 a night to stay in his B&B, which turns out to be a blanket and Up & Go in the back seat of his car |
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| Antoine Dixon
Pros – everyone respects a man with a sword; has the rugby-player haircut already. Cons – unsure of his rugby knowledge; dead. |
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| Jason Gunn
Pros – Big old tick in the insane box; worked with Thingee, so Steve Hanson should be a doddle. Cons – utter, utter idiot; whole nation wants to punch him hard in the face. |
| Who do YOU think would be a great insane All Black coach? Jordan Luck? Charlotte Dawson? Let us know in the comments. |
