The Guardian has a list of six JFK moments, the ones so significant that the where-you-were and the who-you-were-with is tattooed (JFK moments are often painful) permanently on your brain.
So what are New Zealand sport’s JFK moments? Here’s a few to get started, and where I was at the time; get into the comments and tell me what I’ve missed.
1930 Phar Lap wins the Melbourne Cup – not born
1956 All Blacks beat South Africa: “I’m absolutely buggered!” – not born
1960 – Peter Snell wins in Rome – as above
1983 Graham Thorne presents the Cricket from Australia with a perm – watching sportreview sr. pissing himself laughing, not fully understanding what a girlyman ex-All Black Thorne was making of himself on the national box with this unexpected, bold hairstyle choice
1985 Coney and Chatfield hold out Pakistan at Carisbrook – bouncing up and down on the couch in Hamilton, about as excited as a 12 year old could be
1995 “The America’s Cup is now New Zealand’s cup” – down at the Viaduct, in its pre-Viaduct incarnation at 8am on a Sunday morning, with half of Auckland, seemingly
1999 The greatest fucking Rugby comeback of all time – in a Cricklewood flat in cloud of stunned silence with a mate. We didn’t go to the pub to watch, assuming we’d be there next week for the final. I’d spent about eight months talking the All Blacks and their ‘fast, mobile’ pack up to work colleagues. The croissant on my desk on Monday bought a lump to my throat
2006 Tana Umanga’s handbag goes for twenty odd grand on TradeMe – at my desk, head in hands, rocking gently back and forth
3. face clutch, the n ham-acting technique employed by footballers to make clear to officials that they have been struck, punched, touched, or nearly touched in the face by an opponent. See: Rivaldo
2. goalposts, moving the vb 1. figurative for changing the rules after a contest has begun. 2. actual method deployed by Swedish goalkeeper Kim Christensen during a match between IFK Gothenburg and Orebro in September 2009
1. Henry Hill n, proper the real-life Goodfella who arranged, in 1978, for basketball players at Boston College to “point shave” – or miss shots, deliberately, at certain times – to aid gambling gangsters. Hill said he first snared the players with offers of free booze, drugs and prostitutes.
The Underarm and Andy Hayden’s lineout work are also noted.
This is the excerpt of your first post template…
NEWSDESK: The All Black coaching panel have shuffled their duties for the Northern Hemisphere tour, with Graham Henry to marshall the forward pack, Wayne Smith picking up the defense, and Steve Hansen taking responsibility for Milo. “It’s a chance for us to grow the group’s skill base,” said Graham Henry. “Wayne will develop his rush and man on man defense patterns, and Steve will be working mainly on putting the milk in first. He’s very excited about the move into hot drinks, and obviously brings his Welsh Horlicks experience to the table.”
“There’s very little between the teams at this level, and ultimately, winning or losing could come down to a favorite mug from home or forgetting the sugar. I’ve been practicing my Milo micro-skills at home, and Mrs Hansen has been pretty positive,” said a bullish Hansen, who didn’t see the change from masterminding line outs to overseeing malted barley energy drinks as a step outside his comfort zone. “It’s pretty simple – when Wayne and Ted are running video sessions, I’ll be in the kitchenette. We’re clear on our roles. Luckily I fully inspected the Zip and Fridge facilities in Europe on the 2008 tour, so I’m ahead of the game already. I found an awesome travel kettle in the Kathmandu sale too, in case someone wants one on the bus. I’ve got all bases covered.”
All Black captain Richie McCaw denied rumors that player power was behind the change: “It’s a surprise to me, I thought Steve would get the bus driving job to be honest. I’m happy with it, though, he does make a mean Milo – that time he found a spare packet of Gingernuts in Pretoria would have definitely counted in his favor.”
Keano is a big sportreview favorite, for his Apocalypse Now style tacking, terrifying glower and for telling Mick McCarthy to ‘stick his world cup up his bollocks’, in an anatomically impossible yet impassioned outburst.
Here he is, aged 12, making a very nasty tackle, and here he is methodically settling a grudge that burned like deep heat in his undies for. Never mind starting an argument in an empty house, Keano can do it in the sanctum of the player’s tunnel.