Links on Friday – Alan Partridge

Ice white shoes. Ice white socks with navy blue double cadet stripes – it’s Alan in Paris. That’s… that’s the Eiffel Tower.

Remove the Apple Pie. And remove yourself from the theatre of conflict.

After a decent Links on Friday sesh, why not prop up the bar with a few ladyboys? You mentalist.

It’s a great model, it goes like a bomb… and the car’s not bad either!

Dan!

Riding with the Blue Train

Red Kite Prayer has part one of two guys’ story of training with the US Postal Service team in 2002 – this was @lancearmstrong’s ‘Blue Train‘ team at the start of his seven  tour titles.

No matter how long the ride was, there he was—at the front, leading his team. Headwind, tailwind, uphill and down, Lance set the pace and rode like a motorcycle. He lead some of the smoothest, fastest five hour rides of my life.

The hotel and surrounding resort community sit atop a steep, mile-long climb. This simple “driveway” served to bring already broken men (Bill and me) to a state of groveling at the end of each day’s training ride.

Old Tom

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As Tom Watson’s putt on the 72nd died a little to the right, every golf fan died a little inside, too.

The walk from the 18th green to the 5th hole for the playoff put back on all those years he’d shed throughout The Open. He looked tired, and the contrast with the seemingly seven foot tall Cink, who went about winning the playoff with the matter-of-fact efficiency of a Storm Trooper, was stark.

Tom conducted himself with down home dignity, of course, and while not many can match his record, I wanted the fairytale. Bugger that putt.

Bledisloe twitter coverage

The sportreview tweets from this evening’s Bledisloe, a narrow win for us in a ‘real’ ‘test’ ‘match’, tiring git code for ‘slightly boring’. In reverse chronological order.

Ted enjoys a cold one #allblacks http://flic.kr/p/6FMdpU

bugger drew mitchell’s knowledge of the rules #allblacks

donald doing well so far. B+. will he play full game? #allblacks

awesome swearing from aus assistant coach #allblacks

yes waving guy you are on tv #allblacks #muppet

solid work by franks on debut #allblacks

#sportreview jr has decided he wants to watch too #allblacks

ref not very good at offside or forward passes #allblacks

nose clearance followed by lip-read ‘fucking hell’. #fantasticcamerawork #allblacks

#allblacks http://flic.kr/p/6FLoGJ

shit. #allblacks

operation pizza in the oven #allblacks

Follow @richirvine

Links on Friday – Cycling

Lance Armstrong is the big story in this year’s tour – here he is battling it out on the Mount Ventoux moonscape with Matrco Pantini, before letting him cross the line first, giving Jan Ullrich ‘the look‘, and getting all narky at Paul Kimmage (while not *actually* answering the question)

Tour newbies would do well to track down Hell On Wheels, it’s a great intro to just what the hell is going on. Then watch  Breaking Away, the Footloose of Cycling films

If your collar bone is still unbroken after the London Alley Cat race, don’t push your luck on the track

Cycled to work a few times? Think you could have a go? Read an amateurs’ experience on the Alpe D’Huez, and ex-pro Kimmage taking on the incline. And here’s Duncan Deadball’s live report from France. sportreview = jealous

All Black coaches re-appointed until 2037

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NEWSDESK: The NZRFU announced today the re-appointment of the Graham Henry-led coaching regime until 2037. “We’ve often been accused of throwing the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to All Black coaching panels. This time we’re going to have the wee fella living with Mum and Dad until he’s old enough to rifle the liquor cabinet” said NZRFU CEO Steve Tew, before denying he was really, really high.

“I’m very pleased” said Henry, rubbing the leather elbow patches on his blazer, adding “This will give the players, and any of their kids interested in playing Rugby, real certainty”.

The All Black marketing machine has already swung into action, announcing a line of Wayne Smith driving gloves, Steve Hanson TV dinner trays and Ted’s Big Book Of Sudoku. A potential tie in with Werther’s Orignals is in the pipeline.

Radio Sport reported a 83% ratings drop-off around the time of the announcement as the majority of their listenership spontaneously combusted as one. South African media are reporting the re-appointment of Peter De Villliers until 2044 in a flanking manoeuvre.