Roman Abramovich – season roundup

We asked Chelsea FC chairman Roman Abramovich for some of his highlights of the Premiership season 2006/7.

Game of the season
Dawn. Another day on this cursed earth. Another day closer to revenge.

Player of the season
My legions in the sewers, hold your positions. I know it’s damp and smelly, but fear not, this Christmas you’ll each be blessed with a box of matches. And an egg. And a Chelsea FC cup holder.

Funniest moment
Do not cross me. Be warned that my vengeance is fast and brutal – when our time comes you’ll see the terrible fate of the weak and of the Belgian. That’s right.

Unsung hero
I sit in the directors box grinning with apparently no clue whatsoever about what’s happening around me – it’s all a cunning ruse to thrown THEM off our trail. Yes, that’s it. A ruse. I am dreaming of my ultimate power.

Surprise package
Stay on your guard. When Armageddon hour is at hand, I’ll send an entire squadron of my winged serpent scouts with the signal. Soon all the world will fear the name Roman Abramovich. Those still alive, that is.