Check out this photo of Chelsea FC’s sugar daddy Roman Abramovich at his first wedding – I reckon he’s a werewolf, eh.
That would explain a lot.
UPDATE: Holy. Shit. The shaved werewolf might have fooled (and possibly devoured) one unfortunate Russian bride, but now he’s going out with a Zombie! Check out that brain-hungry mouth, the dead, dead eyes and listing posture. She is FULLY a Zombie. What’s going on at Stamford Bridge? And why does Roman look so pleased? What does he know that we don’t? Does that smug, far-away look in his eyes mean he’s dreaming of a post-zombie-infestation apocalyptic world where he rules the few survivors through a callous blend of terror, fear and ritual humiliation? I think we should be told.